I’ve never posted on a forum but I feel completely lost and stuck in a rut. I relocated for my partners work about 4 hours from my home town. We’ve been together about 5 years… I’ve always suffered with anxiety but the nothing on this scale. I read every spiritual book going but can’t seem to put anything into practice/.meditate when I’m in an anxious state. I feel like a fish out of water and desperately miss my old life and home. I go back frequently but still feel this terrible guilt for leaving family. I also feel like I’m not part of it all there anymore. I’m very black and white person and really feel like its the end of an era I will never get back. My partners being supportive but I’m sick of crying to him. My sister likes him but thinks I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve considered ending the relationship to run back home back to normality and the thought makes me feel so relieved, however when I get close to telling my partner this I go into a state of panic, realise I love him and back track. I’m trying to be in the now but my minds going back and forth from the two options all day. Thanks for reading this. Any advice much appreciated.
“I’ve always suffered with anxiety”- maybe living with your family, in your home town was not such a good experience for you because you suffered from anxiety throughout your youth and throughout all the years you lived right there with them.
“I .. still feel this terrible guilt for leaving family”- who in your family instilled this guilt in you, I wonder.
“I.. feel like its the end of an era”- maybe it is, and maybe it should be.
Thankyou for your comments it’s good to hear a different perspective! I am in the process of looking at counselling and maybe hypnotherapy as I think some of this anxiety is from deep rooted beliefs I need to address.