Hey guys! I hope you’re all doing well.
I’m hurting a lot right now, and do not know where I can turn to.
I became emotionally attached to someone recently without realizing it. He is unavailable and in a committed relationship with someone else. I was in denial about my attachment to him for several weeks now. But recently I have come to realize that we have a pattern of hurting each other. The cycle of me getting hurt and reacting at something unavoidable and withdrawing, him reacting to my withdrawal by withdrawing also, then me withdrawing further got to a point where we arent talking and hes expending all his time and energy on someone else. Im left feeling abandoned. Im also worried because this is the second time in the past few months where Ive become attached to someone unavailable and Im not quite sure why Im acting this way or how I can stop it. I also dont know how to act anymore. On the one hand, I think it would be better if he and I didnt stay in touch because being involved with someone committed is not in line with my moral belief system. On the other hand, not being in touch with him also feels like something I am not strong enough to do anymore. I also feel like cutting contact would be a lot like running away, and I’ve been trying to stop running away from people and be present and talk about and acknowledge things instead of shutting down and withdrawing. I’m so confused about what the right thing to do in this situation would be, or even if doing the right thing is worth it or not. Ive been doing other self destructive things in the past 2 weeks also, drinking, smoking and it just feels like i dont know how to stop.
Help thoughts and guidance would be appreciated.
Love,
me