Hi all,

I was in relationship with a man that broken my heart. We are both Latin people and in some way we thought we could connect through our background. At the beginning he was very respectful and nice man. From the outside he was a very caring, good character, talent and kind man. Once our relationship started to blooming, he was a bit over infatuated with me and sometimes I thought it was overwhelming.

When I wasn’t contact me he kind was chasing me and wanted to get closer to me. When we started to get know each other in deep level, this is when I got so disappointed by him.

He told me that he had long history of mental illness precisely depression. I had the same thing, but I healed myself for good. He came out from an awful breakup and he was kind living a seclude life in Peru due to his mining job. He was keeping telling me how he always lived by himself at 41 years old.

Never married and no children. He told me that he was a sadomasochist and how he enjoyed inflicting pain to the women he had relationships. Also, he had a compulsive obsessive disorder. He had high body count, how much he liked sex and he didn’t see anything wrong with that. No one knew his dark face. Our classmates in the college didn’t  have any clue of what kind a man he was.

I told one of my female friend and she was in shocked. She couldn’t believe how a man with so much manners, so educated and he had this dark side. For her, the fact he had another persona, she said “ that’s evil!”.

I have been left so disappointed on him because he had a good side, but his dark side it was always there. I realised the way he spoke about sex, it wasn’t a normal behaviour! A man with an average height, 41 years old with health issues like: pre diabetes, broken back, gastrointestinal issues and severe insomnias. He wasn’t capable of look after himself!

It irritated me that he completely forgot about how caring I was with him and how I always treated him with respect.

Whatever I did for him, he didn’t appreciate because of his sadist nature.

I consider myself a spiritual person and for me high body counts it’s mean broken soul. When you lie down with someone you don’t just give your body and pleasure. You give your soul to someone else. Every time you give yourself , you lose one part of your soul. It’s like your soul is shattered in 1000 piece of glasses. On the long run, you lose yourself!  Once your soul has all these lesions and cracks, you need to find a therapist to help you how to heal!

People can tell me whatever they believe me it’s true or not, but this is reality!

He thought that maybe, I’m still here crying and obsessed with him. Mean while I completely removed him from WhatsApp,Instagram, deleted our photos together and his email. The fact his phone numbers are gone and I don’t even remember, I’m in so much peace!

The fact he wasn’t able to have a healthy relationship with me, it’s just what I needed to know.

I believe that he had unresolved trauma from previous breakups, childhood and neglected from his absent father!

You can’t walk in someone life and don’t take accountability for your actions.

I wish people were more honest with each other, instead of wasting someone else’s life!

I don’t wish no one bad, but in 9 years from now, he’ll regret everything and his choices. In old age if he thinks that he can still keep up with this type of lifestyle, he’s just a deluded man!