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His mental health made us break up

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  • #210041
    Nellie
    Participant

    Me and my boyfriend whom I’ve been together with for 8 months broke up today. Two weeks ago he suddenly became confused about his feelings in the relationship and lost them very suddenly. We talked but he still felt so confused so we decided to go on a break. He said that he felt like he “was in a room with no feelings, knowing they were there but just couldn’t find them.”After two weeks, he contacted me and wanted to meet up. He loves me, deeply, and really wants to be with me but due to his childhood and his relationship to his parents (divorce, financial struggles and being beaten by his dad until he was 7 years old)  he has some kind of attachment disorder (causing his feelings to freeze suddenly) and is struggling with himself. We broke up today, even though we want to be together.. because of his problems and it’s just so terrible and unfair. Even though a break up is a break up he makes me feel like he really wants to be with me but must find/fix himself in order to do so. It’s more like a “bye for now” rather than a ” bye forever”…  and he isn’t interested in being with anyone else for that part either. This feels so unreal.. I still don’t understand?? Why aren’t we together if we both love and want to be with each other? What are the chances of him coming back? Is this normal? what should I do now? I feel so helpless..

    #210097
    Mark
    Participant

    Nellie,

    Whenever someone has deep personal issues that are not being addressed then it is extremely hard to have a close, trusting, intimate relationship with him.

    Good for him for considering you/the relationship as well wanting to fix himself.

    Love cannot fix everything.

    Mark

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