Hi everyone,
I am a newbie to being a member but have long come to this site before for help in all shapes and forms. Always have loved how uplifting everyone is for each other here and thought I would put my voice out there as I am sure there is someone else going through or has gone through exactly what I am going through. It would be helpful to share that connection.
Here it is in a nutshell: I recently graduated college last December in a town and area of the states that I absolutely fell in love with, the first place I truly called home (being one of those kids that moved a lot). In January I packed up my things to take a fun gap year job in Europe. Heartbroken yet excited for my new adventure I said goodbye to my friends who had become family and the apartment I adored and left. Pause. I understand how this might be coming off: girl graduated college, girl left to go on adventure of life time….what could be wrong with this life?
Well I got over there and even though I am an avid traveler and have lived in several different continents, I just couldn’t settle in where I was and had this nag that everything was not how it was suppose to be. I gave it six months and then I gave up and packed my bags for home. This time my parents home on the opposite side of the states. Even though all my things are in storage at my college home I could not go back as I had no money no job and no where to live, buming it on friends couches wasn’t even an option.
So here I am in a place I really hate living in…..trying to save away money to get back to the place that I regret leaving in the first place. I miserable living with my folks , appreciative but miserable. There home brings up some really negative experiences from my past so I find that I just wallow in my misery and block myself off from all connection. I understand how this must seem. But I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience? Craving so much to go back to a place they love that they feel like there heart is breaking everyday, feeling closed off to the world because they don’t want to start enjoying where they currently reside because they are afraid of loosing site of their goal. Words of wisdom are always welcome, I apologize for the rant but I just need to talk to someone.
Best,
Homesick