How do I stop obsessing over the big questions?

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    I don’t know if I’ve been watching too much Neil DeGrasse-Tyson on Cosmos or if I’m suffering from extreme boredom but I cannot stop thinking about the meaning of life. Why the hell are we here? What’s beyond the universe? Why do we waste so much energy on such insignificant things? We’re floating on a rock in the middle of nothingness! Ack!

    I’m thirty years old, I have a loving family, a husband (who drives me insane but he’s a good man deep down), three beautiful children under 6, and a full time office job. I know that what ever we are here for, my purpose is not to be sitting a desk doing mundane crap, 40 hours a week away from my children! Most days, I just search the web for physics news and spirituality lessons. I do know I need to get out of here so I have a plan to go to massage and doula school and start my own practice. I feel drawn to work with mothers and babies. So why ever we are here, I’d like to spend my short time doing something meaningful to me.

    My question is how do people not think about this crap all the time? I don’t have any religious beliefs. I believe in some sort of God but I don’t know why. I don’t have any proof or experiences that prove to me a power greater than the universe exists. I just kind of feel like for there to be so much precision and beauty in the universe, something has to be in charge. But I don’t think whatever that is cares about which football team I want to win or who we marry. I just feel very lost and I know deep down we all are so how the heck do you cope?


    Hey Emilie

    Just beautiful questions, eh !!

    I first realised that something bigger was in control when oxygen or electric shock couldnt revive a man whose heart stopped beating. Who keeps the heart beating ? There has to be some form of energy, which keeps the ticker going and no one in the world has been able to restart it once it really stops. Where is that energy coming from ? God knows lol

    There is no harm in asking big questions but if you dont ask the right people, you will just keep getting confused as there are billion plus explanations out there. Hey, there are so many billion people on this planet and all have their own ways of explaining their theories. Which one is true ? God knows.

    I will share my perspective, which I have done many times on this forum before.

    Whether there is something bigger out there or not, I wont be able to convince you about it. You need to experience the miracle of life yourself and come to your own answer and stick with it. In order to prove or disprove something, you need to experience it first hand. You are not me and I am not you.

    What is our purpose ? I feel it is to learn to love unconditionally and live in the moment. When someone asked a small kid, why do dogs leave the world so quickly compared to humans ? The kid answered, “the dogs learn how to love unconditionally quickly so their purpose is served and they move on to other things in other dimensions. Humans dont learn this easy so they keep repeating their lessons and get to live longer”. When I heard this, I was just flabbergasted. It is so true though. We can learn so much from our doggie friends about love and living in the present moment.

    Do what your heart says. You will only do the best for yourself at the end of the day if you dont get stuck in the rut.

    Hope this helps.




    I thought for sure there was no god or anything ‘powerful’ out there or loving or any quality that my human brain could come up with. I was SURE I was right.

    Then someone said – ‘but could you be wrong?’

    No one knows for sure. We all just come up with the story we like best and call it our ‘religion’. I like to call it ‘our delusion’. Or better yet ‘allusion’.

    Still – just human descriptive words… way petty when it comes to a power beyond the universe.

    So – finally – I decided since no one knows for sure = and I can’t possibly know… I can just pick something that feels peaceful and then go on with life. I choose to call my god ‘The god I do not understand – but know isn’t me’.



    Hi Emilie,

    As Obi-wan Kenobi once said, ‘you’ve taken your first step into a larger world’

    No, I don’t think you are watching too much Neil Degrasse Tyson. What you’re doing now is exactly what this man encourages all of us to do more of… question everything.

    This is a good thing. No, a wonderful thing. But let me advise you to pursue it in bite sized chunks. And when looking for an answer, start with ‘I don’t know’. It’s ok not to know. This idea can be a problem for some people. Some want a clear cut answer immediately and are not comfortable with an undecided. If you ever find yourself uncomfortable in this way, please remind yourself that we as a species are just beginning to ask these big questions. Also, our brains can process only so much. Not one human can comprehend quantum mechanics, for example. The saying goes ‘if you think you understand quantum physics, then you don’t understand quantum physics’. So don’t burn yourself out.

    With that said, welcome to the world of questioning everything. Is there a higher being? Who knows. If there is, what kind of evidence would you need to believe it? You mentioned precision and beauty that exists. What if we questioned THOSE things? What is beauty? Does precision necessarily mean that there was a designer? For example, the eye can be explained by evolution to have gradually (over millions of years) adapted into the beautifully precise instrument it is today. It did not pop into existence immediately in its current form. First there was a photo sensitive cell, then a lens, then an improved lens, then a tiny hole like a pin hole camera, and on and on. Each step giving a slightly better evolutionary advantage than the previous.

    As far as the evidence we have, it is plausible that everything we see in the universe started out as hydrogen atoms over 13 billion years ago. Great collections of hydrogen gas pulled together by gravity to form the first stars. Stars which burned through hydrogen, to create helium, and other elements. Some stars explode after billions of years, launching these elements towards other forming stars. One of these was our very own Sun over 4 billion years ago. Gases and other elements swirled around our sun for millions of years over a large disc area, with gravity pulling clumps together into the planets we have today, including Earth. Guess where all of the elements (iron, carbon, etc) we have on Earth came from? Yes, an exploded star from before our Sun was born. These elements account for the same elements which life is made of (hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, etc). Isn’t this amazing? As Carl Sagan said, ‘we are made of star stuff’. And even more, he said, ‘we are a way for the cosmos to know itself’. To me, if this is true, and we having mounting evidence to support it, then to have the beauty and precision we experience in life begin with only hydrogen atoms is simply awesome. With an example like that, I personally don’t need a designer to feel in awe of the universe.

    Keep questioning. But when it comes to answers, you don’t have to take anyone’s word for it. Science is ALL about seeing for yourself. The mounting evidence I speak of is open for you to look at, test, and discover for yourself. Often, there is an argument brought up which seemingly puts science on the same level as religion. The argument is that religion is faith based, and since someone like me doesn’t comprehend the more complicated science theories (and/or math behind them) then I’m taking the scientific theory on faith as well. True, I don’t know all of the evidence for scientific theories. But I do know this: science is open to scrutiny, and there is no shortage of humans who want to scrutinize. Science has a peer review process where someone publishes an idea to be scrutinized by ANYONE. If just one flaw is found by anyone, the idea will be thrown out. Whereas with religion, or at least my experience with religion (raised catholic), you are told what to believe. There is no questioning, fact checking, testing, or scrutinizing among the members. The answer is always to just have ‘faith’. I don’t want to go further into this, I mainly want to point out the difference between science and religion. Certainly, there are people who believe they have their proof for the existence of a higher power, and I respect their freedom to believe.

    Ok, I felt like I got carried away a bit, but I was happily excited by your post so there you have it. : )

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