How do you control your emotions when put in certain difficult situations?

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    I’m 18, and I’ve always been really good with hiding my emotions. I don’t really like to talk about my feelings, especially with family. I’m pretty fine with friends though. I would say I’m pretty optimistic and I really do try to be positive on most occasions.

    It’s just sometimes, I tend to lose control over my emotions. I can be really emotional when put in certain situations, especially when my mum and I fight or when she tells me I’ve done something wrong. My mum and I have never had a perfect relationship, we always kinda fight but I do love her and we have been working on our relationship so it has been getting better. But I get really defensive and angry whenever she approaches me and tells me I have done something wrong, especially when it comes to my attitude. I know I need to accept criticisms especially when they’re good for me but sometimes I can’t. I am working on it but its a bit difficult. Does anyone have any advice for me on this? How do I accept criticism with an open heart? Especially from family members.

    I also tend to get really emotional in certain situations. Whenever I fight with my mum I tend to burst into tears and raise my voice with her. How do I control this? How can I get my point across without actually crying and yelling? I don’t like the way I tend to cry or get angry so easily in some situations. Does anyone have any good advice for me? It would be greatly appreciated. 😀


    Hello Ray,

    I felt very much like you do when I was your age – I think hormones have a lot to do with it! I love that you are optimistic and ready to find the positive in most situations and I think that attitude helps in understanding that critical or constructive remarks are hard for everyone to accept graciously. You know your mum loves you and wants the best for you, so I think reminding yourself of that fact will help you when she says something that you don’t like.

    Whenever I feel like reacting negatively to a criticism, I take a deep breath and often choose to say nothing. If I can do this even for a few moments I find the desire to get upset or yell recedes. It takes practice, but it does work. Often, too even though you say you are not comfortable with it, just expressing how you feel to the other person really, really helps. For example, “I understand what you are saying, but I having difficulty accepting that right now.” or using your own words from above, “I’m working on accepting criticism, but its a bit difficult.”

    I hope this helps,

    Love and peace,



    Criticism is hurtful, and it is natural to cry when we are hurt.
    I deal with criticism by asking myself whether what was said is true. If it is true, in my eyes, I do something about it. If it is not true, I say nothing but let it wash over me.


    Your mom’s been through that stage….she understands you…also remember when she tells you something its for your own good….Learned it from my own experience..:)

    Cecil McIntosh

    Hello Ray,

    I agree with Marilyn. Take a deep breath and choose to say nothing. However, what I would add: take a deep breath, hold it for a count of 3 and then slowly let it out. Repeat 3 times. You will find that you become centered and have more clarity. Peace.


    emotional mastery is a skill that is developed over time. It’s impossible to master it over night. But if you make the CHOICE every single moment of your life to control your emotions to what you want them to be then you will get better and better to the point of mastery. Not only will this benefit your relationships currently but it will benefit you as a person over all for a lifetime, so it’s very good that you are taking this into serious consideration because the people who are ready to sacrifice who they are for what they will become is the person who will be exposed to the truth.

    My friend, you are a wonderful person capable of wonderful things in life, remember that. I wish you the best!


    shamita guha

    Hi Ray ! Anger and frustration are the outcome of unmet expectation. You need to change your expectation what you have with your mother. When your expectation will meet the action of your mother you wont feel angry or Unhappy . The reason being you already have expected her to behave in the way she really behaved.

    You might have noticed that when you get angry with your mother the impact of the generated bad mood also effects other works you do subsequently. Like if you receive a phone call from your friend immediate after the fight with your mother. There is maximum possibility that you would say bad words to your friends too.
    I have recently read a story for similar situation quite related to our everyday life. Check this out. It might be helpful to you too..


    Britt Reints


    I guess I’m going to step out of the common responses here and say that emotions aren’t to be controlled. The best thing to do with feelings is feel them. All they want is attention, and they’ll typically dissipate pretty quickly once they get that. To be clear, feelings need attention from YOU. Acknowledge them.

    Instead of trying to control your feelings, perhaps you’d be better served to control your actions. This is much easier to do when you acknowledge your feelings and then make a conscious choice about how you’ll respond to them instead of just reacting to the feelings you’re trying to repress.

    Hope that helps!


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