Dear Elie:

To refocus on your work after being distracted and to remain focused, you will need:

(1) to deal with the part of you that dissociates (“there’s always a part of me that disassociates with people and surroundings”, April 2021),

(2) to express your deeper feelings and complications inside to someone who is not a family member as clearly as you can (“my own complications inside… deeper feelings beyond what people try to comfort me  by… the complications inside me haunt me”),

(3) to be understood by that someone (“I.. feel like I’m not capable of being understood… I always wanted to feel understood but I  never got that”),

(4) to manage your anxiety about your brother, and about others whom you love, so that you don’t worry too much, or break apart as a result of this anxiety (“I really do see him trying but slowly he’s breaking apart as well. And that just makes me break apart too… I’m more worried on the emotional states of myself and everyone I love”).

anita

Dear Elie:

Thank you. I didn’t recall your previous posts before I re-read them today though. After I posted to you today I thought to myself how funny it is that I listed 1, 2, 3, 4, as if they were easy to do, as if these were 4 household chores you can do in one day. So, I agree with you: “these problems are not instantly work through-able“.

The “long term complications” will require a long-term plan to resolve bit by bit, and not all complications will be completely resolved- not in my experience with my own long-term complications.

“I still need to get my other things in life done before being able to solve more complicated things mentally step by step. It’s a weird dilemma“- you can start with making a simple plan every day: first thing in the morning, list the steps you intend to take that day, listing them in order of the 1st to do, the 2nd to do, etc.

You can make a weekly list as well, where you highlight in yellow, let’s say, the steps to take in the following week that are of highest priority, highlight in green the steps of second priority, etc.

anita

Lack of focus is a frequent reason why a person cannot achieve what he wants, get rid of bad habits, advance in his career, make more money, and get his small affairs in order. This “affliction” often affects students and pupils who seek help with coursework and other types of papers. But this is also a problem for adults. Here are some tips:

• 1)Give up multitasking
• 2)Use different time management techniques (choose the most comfortable for you)
• 3)Start work on the project in the morning (when productivity is at its highest level)
• 4)Keep the end goal in mind(visualize the results)

• 5)Constantly feed your motivation (be inspired by the stories of people who have succeeded, use affirmations)

Planning also helps a lot, and of course while working on the task to turn off all the gadgets)

I’ve recently started redoing my whole garden and I’ve always had a dead patch of land that wouldn’t grow anything. Initially I have thought about placing some plant pots so they  don’t need to rely on the soil. However, everything turned out a mess and I’ve ended up loosing a lot of time. I’ve realized that suddenly, I have more time in the day to do things previously I’ve said were impossible to do simply because I was very focused at just getting the job done. Meanwhile I’ve discovered dry stone spheres and I’m looking to do one myself. They look pretty surreal and it will save me a lot of maintenance work on plants.