So some background: at the start of the year my long term partner broke up with me. I am living overseas and he is from this country. I had had a difficult time adjusting to my life overseas and he was a fly-in fly out mine worker so I was predominantly alone. As a result I was under incredible pressure working full time, adjusting to a new country and trying to make a semi-long distance relationship work. So when the break up occurred I had an emotional breakdown and was not really functioning properly. I continued to try to convince him to try our relationship again and he was often giving me mixed signals that he did want to save our relationship. This has continued on for months, at least on my side with a slightly desperate hope that we could rekindle our relationship.

Jump to last night: I was sent a message from a friend that she had information on my ex partner. Turns out he is engaged and is due to marry in several weeks. He was taking pre-wedding photos a couple of months after our breakup. Though throughout this entire time we have maintained daily communication and as I said he has also given me some indications that he misses me. He has never once mentioned a new partner let alone fiancé. So this is like stepping into an alternative dimension where he has been steadily building a new life, all while I have been nursing my heartbreak and sort of hoping that maybe there’s a chance we could get back together.

So, anyway I texted him saying I thought he had something to tell me. He has responded by saying he would like to make a call and be honest with me and has been waiting for the right time to tell me but that he has been wrong.

I am now still waiting for this phone call. I am in two minds whether to wait for the call and tell him what I think when he has had the guts to tell me what has really been going on all this time, or just simply messaging him directly with exactly what I want to say but with the risk that he simply ignores my messages, as he obviously would not have any more need for me to respect him after what he has done.

Also, I guess I need to tell him that he has destroyed any chance of having a continuing friendship.

Overall, its hard to put into words how this has made me feel. It was a very hard break up but I almost felt that I could accept it, but to now know that while I was still nursing my wounds and sort of holding onto slim hopes, he has made a completely new life for himself. I feel kind of sad, bitter and disempowered. I’m not even very emotional, I just feel sort of dry and hollow on the inside.

I feel like it is such a cruel and cold thing to do. I’d like to know what other people think of his behaviour.