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Anonymous.
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March 1, 2017 at 6:29 pm #132011
CharityParticipantHi.
I am in a relationship with someone very special. He has his flaws but for the most part he’s perfect for me. It’s long distance right now which makes it really hard but he’s my best friend and he’s planning on moving here with me. I struggle with accepting that he loves me. He could tell me a million times and there is still this little bit of doubt in my mind. Deep down I know he does but I can’t fully accept it. When he says he is going to go over to his friends house I obsess about if he could possibly meet someone better. Someone that could make him happier. When we are completely in-sync with each other my mind wants to go places to Fuck things up. I don’t want to mess up a relationship with him. He’s my dream come true but I feel like my anxiety and insecurities are going to mess things up. I don’t know how to live in the moment and just be happy. Please help. I am 34 years old and raising 3 beautiful children. I should have this all figured out by now but I don’t. How do I accept happiness and feel worthy of it?
March 1, 2017 at 6:44 pm #132027CharityParticipantI also want to add…..that he is planning on moving here but I feel like I’m the only one bringing this up or making the plans. He is a last minute kind of guy and I like plans. I get my feelings hurt because I take his lack of making plans personal.
March 1, 2017 at 6:55 pm #132043CharityParticipantI just realized I cursed and did not mean to. I have no idea how to edit or delete. I apologize.
March 2, 2017 at 8:49 am #132565
PeterParticipantI should have this all figured out by now but I don’t. How do I accept happiness and feel worthy of it?
I have yet to meet anyone who has “all this figured out”
How do I accept happiness and feel worthy of it?
We must work for that which no work is requiredThat might sound like a contradiction but it isn’t. In order to get to a place in which you feel worthy of love will require work, for example work on self acceptance and loving yourself. The irony being that once the work is completed you will realize that you were/are worthy all along, love and happiness was their all along. In the mean time you might as well enjoy that happiness that is present to you in the moment.
I’m currently reading a book Called the untethered soul the journey beyond yourself. By Michael a. Singer.
Can you imagine what your life might look like untethered? Untethered by the negative inner voice, that evil “step mother”, freeing you to live the life already waiting for you?March 2, 2017 at 8:56 am #132567
AnonymousGuestDear Charity:
Feeling unworthy of love, a common feeling, common core-belief people have. It is formed in childhood and lasts a lifetime unless healing is being done.
Thing is, he can’t heal you. Likely, you will keep looking for “evidence” in his behavior that he does NOT love you. And there will always be such “evidence” as people cannot read minds, so there is no way for him to say what you think he should say anytime, do what you think he should do (without telling him), etc. And the reasonable things he “should” know to say and do (or not to say and do)- no one can pay 100% attention all the time to… what they should say and do.
Healing- best in competent psychotherapy. In the relationship with him, be open and honest about your fears and take responsibility for those. Don’t blame him for “making you” insecure and fearful. Practice self discipline so to not blame him and burden him unfairly for what he is not responsible to.
Better he doesn’t move in until you start and establish such responsible, honest communication first.
anita
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