fbpx
Menu

How to break to your parents the painful news of not believing in Christianity?

HomeForumsRelationshipsHow to break to your parents the painful news of not believing in Christianity?

New Reply
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #203215
    Yostina
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I’m new here and just wanted to talk about how to break to your parents or someone you love a painful piece of news? I have been struggling with this for a almost a year; my parents are religious christians and believing in redemption by Jesus on the cross is a very fundamental part of our faith that I was raised to believe, but I just came to be very uncomfortable with the idea that no one other than believers will go to heaven and because I’m an empath, every time I hear that or think about that, I just feel very uncomfortable and pained for those people who ‘won’t’ go to heaven and those who will ‘burn’ in hell for eternity. Anyway, the problem is my parents strongly believe in this and I feel like if I break this news to them, they will worry extremely about me (I damn well know they will especially mom) and that worry may manifest as physical illness; the last thing I want is to cause them physical illness. I know I’m not responsible for their feelings, but still, I can’t just allow that stress and worry to happen and in the same time, I need to tell them because they will want to know everything about why I stopped going to church with them and listening to religious stuff…etc. I don’t how how to approach this. I appreciate your reading and any suggestion you might have.

    Peace & Love

    #203217
    Yostina
    Participant

    And Oh! imagine if you’re a parent and have a strong belief that your child is going to hell according to that belief. How awful would that feel and how depressed, worried, and stressed will you be?

    #203219
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Yostina:

    I understand your concern about your parents’ distress, especially your mother’s, if and when you tell them.

    There is another issue: what will your mother do once you tell her? She may chase you every day with her truth, she may (?) cry and go on and on to you, maybe beg you to go to church or see this or that clergy person. That will be a lot of distress to you.

    I suppose children leaving religion is something her church leadership is aware of. Maybe they have instructions for parents, what to do in that case. Guidelines, a manual of sorts, a policy perhaps. Your mother may find emotional support and calm in those guidelines, in the church’s instructions and support.

    There are support groups, I imagine, for adult children leaving their parents’ religions. People there may have valuable information to you, information from their own experiences.

    anita

    #203225
    Yostina
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    thank you for responding to my post. the only thing that my church will tell them to do is to pray, for us, but that will still not prevent mom from trying to re-talk me into religion and won’t prevent both mom and dad from worrying. sometimes I feel resentment against my church and christianity because they planted their minds with these fear based beliefs that are causing enormous fear, depression and steals joy out of almost everything.

    #203231
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Yostina:

    Fear is the most powerful emotion that is, and an effective motivator. Except fear does not motivate people to heal, to expand emotionally, to consider new ideas. It keeps people contracted, not open to re-evaluate (or to evaluate things they accepted before, for the first time).

    There is no easy solution to your problem, unfortunately. The only way I can see going about it, at this point (and I do hope members who have personal experience with this will respond to your thread), is to tell them and to assert yourself at the same time. To tell them what behaviors you will not accept, for example: talking to you about anything to do with religion, with church.

    I am sure you will express to them your concern for their well being and how difficult it has been for you to tell them what you had to tell them.

    anita

    #203379
    Louisa
    Participant

    I’m in the same boat as you. My dad is a 3rd generation pastor and Christianity is the only thing that’s keeping my mom sane due to difficulties she’s experienced in her life both emotionally and physically. I grew up in churches but now, at 30 years old, I don’t really consider myself a Christian. I will probably never tell my mom this though because I know that it will break her. I end up lying to her when she asks me about church and whether or not I pray for my boyfriend’s salvation. But I’m ok with lying to her because it keeps her happy.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.