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How To Get Out Of This Spider Web

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #359933
    kofegba
    Participant

    Hello everyone,

    A friend introduced me to this site, and i am grateful.

    I have an issue bothering my mind, i dont know how to get out of it.

    There is lady i dated shortly, and then we break up, so ever since then it has been OFF and ON, we break up and make up….. most of the time i break up with her  because my conscience wont let me date some one i dont see a future with, it is not fair to waste people’s time. After the break up, she always 80% of the time reach out to me, calling or texting…. one way or the other we wind up talking and even dating for a while then we call it off due to me not seeing a future with her, i try to see if it can work with her on a long basis but no, so we end up breaking up (The Relationship Are Just For Weeks Before We Break Up) ,  but i promise myself i wont go into a relationship with her anymore even if she calls or text… no need for the Back and Forth situation.

    Recently she called again, saying she wants to visit with her kids, she has 4 kids…. i have none….. she brought them, they like my apartment i took them out, they had fun…. . i just did all that out of respect for her.

    Most recently, she called me and say she wants to visit me at home…… i was surprise, she also said she knows i will be surprised… we ended up having sex, which i am not proud of….. (I feel she did that so i can date her)

    Yesterday she sent an SMS stating that “why dont i consider us dating again” this is someone i told point blank reasons i cant date her……

    I dont know how tell her not to contact me again without sounding rude, i already told her i will going out of town for a long time…. but i know she will come to my apartment to find me….

    Any advice on how i can get out of this situation will be appreciated.

    #359937
    anita
    Participant

    Dear kofegba:

    “I don’t know how tell her not to contact me again without sounding rude… Any advice on how I can get out of this situation will be appreciated”-

    – consider that it is rude to her four children to have an ‘OFF and ON.. break up and make up” relationship with their mother (rude both on her part and yours).

    It is better therefore,  that you sound rude and end a relationship with a woman with whom you repeatedly “don’t see a future with”, then it is that you behave rudely to her children by keeping it going.

    I suggest that you tell her confidently and assertively: I am sorry, but this relationship is now over. I will not change my mind. Do not call me and do not show up at my apartment.

    Don’t engage  in any conversation with her after that, block her from contacting you and if she shows up at your apartment, don’t let her in. If she will not leave, call the police.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
    #359956
    kofegba
    Participant

    Thank you Anita for your response.

    Just some corrections. I just met her kids once and it was recently..  (While being friends) we are currently not dating.

    Just wanted to state the correction….. We are presently not dating…..

    Thanks for the advice.

    Kofegba.

    #359958
    anita
    Participant

    Dear kofegba:

    You are welcome. I understand that you met her kids only once. What I was saying though is that even if you don’t have contact with her four children, for as long as you engage in an on-again, off-again relationship with their mother, you are contributing to their lack of stability.

    I was hoping that this thought will motivate you to do what you stated that you want to do, which is to end contact with this woman and “get out of this spider web”!

    anita

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
    #359973
    kofegba
    Participant

    Your words did motivated me…..Thanks…it did…. i just sent her a text…

    All i needed was motivation and you gave me that…. Thanks alot.

    #359975
    anita
    Participant

    You are very welcome, kofegba. Post again anytime, on any topic, and I will be glad to reply to you again.

    anita

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