Hi everyone, disclaimer here is you are dealing with probably one of the most inept daters on this planet, clueless is word that describes me well.
Short story is I have have know this person for a while, we have mixed in large social groups, she is more extrovert than me, I am more of an introvert and somewhat shy at times. She had a bf, I am single, she broke up with her bf recently and being in large groups its difficult to socialize but I ran into her at an cocktail party last week and we had some one on one time and I really enjoyed her company.
There was quite a lot of positive body language from her, granted there was a moderate amount of wine involved and full disclosure we have had two business meetings before this. What I enjoyed was the conversation, I do not mind admitting I am very fussy about dating, there is a very certain sort of person I find attractive and rather unexpectedly she proved to be attractive (granted she is very physically attractive too)
The evening ended with what I would refer was a firm hug and “lets do coffee”.
Next day I send her a msg saying how nice it was to see her and lets do coffee, 4 days later I get a response and it seems its not been defined as a “business” coffee.
Am I wasting my time trying to progress this, oddly I had such a nice time with her because I felt some sort of connection which is VERY rare for me. My great weakness is generally feeling like anyone I find attractive is out of my league and I am a lesser person, on line dating and my inability to attract people I find attractive has probably re enforced this.
Flirting is not my strong point and I am wondering how far out of my comfort zone do I go here? I am very aware that this has not worked well for me before but again I am reminded I did feel connection.
(I am the one adding the boldface feature to the following quote): “There was quite a lot of positive body language from her, granted there was a moderate amount of wine involved… The evening ended with what I would refer was a firm hug and ‘lets do coffee‘. Next day I send her a msg saying how nice it was to see her and let’s do coffee, 4 days later I get a response and it seems its (now) been defined as a ‘business’ coffee… What would you do?”-
– offer her: let’s do (a moderate amount of) wine, instead of coffee…?
Rarely do I suggest a simple solution, but maybe it is appropriate here, since as you know, alcohol relaxes and caffeine does the opposite.
* I am not promoting alcohol as a way of life when dating or otherwise.
This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.
Tiny Buddha, LLC may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases, including from the Amazon Associate Program.