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How to Help a friend through a tough time

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  • March 20, 2019 at 10:56 am #285473
    nycartist
    Participant

    So my best friend just went through an awful breakup this past weekend. She came over and spent the night. I tried my best to comfort her but I know there’s not really much I can do to take away the pain. At some point during the weekend I had to go to a family function so my friend had to leave. I felt badly but it was something I couldn’t miss out on for family, and my friend was over for a day and a half. Now this week I’ve been trying to check in on her and getting very short answers. I don’t know if I upset her or what (I’m assuming it probably has nothing to do with me, and that she’s upset about the breakup). Still, I feel like she’s being really cold and I don’t know if I should keep checking in or just give her some space. I just want to help her feel less pain and cheer her up somehow. But I’ve been told (by other friends) I can sometimes be too overbearing in the past, so I’m cautious not to push it. Any advice? Just leave her alone? Check in again?

    March 20, 2019 at 11:21 am #285475
    Valora
    Participant

    If it were me, I would just let her know that you’re there for her whenever she needs you or wants to talk/vent but that you’re going to give her her space, too, in case she doesn’t feel like talking and then just leave it at that and check in maybe once a day or every couple days (whatever is regular for you guys) to see how she’s doing.

    I know you want to take her pain away, but it’s actually really important that she feels it right now because that’s how she’ll eventually be able to let it go. Breakups suck, but they can be great catalysts for change in a positive way, so just let her feel her pain and sit with it for a bit and be there for her when she needs you, and that’ll help her more than even cheering her up will in the long term.

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