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How to keep a relationship healthy?

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  • #45188
    Holly
    Participant

    My sister and I have been incredibly close, best friends since we were young. I used to absolutely adore her when I was young! She’s 6 years older than me and has been dealt a rough hand. She had to drop out of uni in her first year due to physical and mental health problems. Ever since then she’s had the mentality of an ill person, which wasn’t good for her but she managed. Up until 6 months ago. She got into a relationship with her “boss” a compulsive liar, sex offender, 50 years senior to her. My family were shocked, she was groomed and manipulated and it very nearly broke us all. One way or another we got through it (which is a whole different story!) and she left him. However now she is angry with my family for ruining the relationship and denies to take any of the responsibility! I don’t know how to cope with this and I want to have a good relationship with her but I always seem to be picking up the pieces for her and as she isn’t dealing with this properly inevitably I will have to do it again! This is a very abbreviated version so sorry if it doesn’t make much sense! Any advice would be welcome.

    #45229
    Kinny
    Participant

    Hello Holly,

    I would consider reading up on codependency like Pia Mellody’s books or go to a support group like Al Anon. It is hard to watch low functioning and hurting people get themselves into situations and for me it’s taken a lot of healthy boundaries to not get sucked into madness and unreasonability. I don’t think that there are any black and white answers from what you shared, but I hope you find those suggestions helpful.

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