Dear katyakatyakatya:

You moved to a different city- is it a city of a different culture, social conventions that explain these people’s judgment of you?

This one girl may not express the thoughts of the others. Maybe she expresses only her own, maybe she lied, maybe she is a trouble maker, especially when she drinks. You may want to check with the others for accuracy of what she said.

To let go of her judgment and of the others’ judgment if indeed have such that is untrue and unflattering to you, you can stop associating with them.

Depending on what the judgment is, what they said (if they did), there may be something to learn from it- share if you’d like to explore the learning possibility.

anita

Dear katyakatyakatya:

People will misinterpret information without awareness or with awareness, that is, purposefully, to make themselves look better and/or to make another not look good. Often enough, unfortunately, people enjoy making fun of others and will be invested in making up stories to feed their entertainment.

In that case, once a person is  in the role of the one in the group that is being-made-fun-of (behind one’s back), one may be stuck in that role. In that case, best to extricate oneself from the group.

Otherwise, you may want to confront the person who distorted the information about you, tell the others in the group the real story- often we do need to correct people’s misinterpretation (not uncommon) of information. That is a good practice if the people are not invested in the misinterpretation.

I relate you it feeling badly when misinterpreted, when the misinterpretation is unflattering, and especially when others enjoy it.

anita

• Well it’s nothing new so don’t feel that there’s any problem in you..  many of us feel the same thing like scared of being judged or being rejected.

Because of this we often even think of taking revenge and to be honest it’s not a great thing

“No need for revenge mate. Just sit back and hang on. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves. And if you are lucky enough, God will let you watch” – they say.
They maybe right. Actually they are, but they maybe broadcasting this, sitting in the Himalayas. But we are humans And and it makes us angry like why me! But never think “why me” just say “try me” And overcome. And of course even Iam like all those homo sepians who gets back at them who wrongs me but only indulging myself in those so called nice thoughts of revenge, and hardly getting into actions! Oh  come on! Who dares to chop off their tormentors head? I toh only can do it in my thoughts even if I’m dying to take such step!

Now, creating such stuff in your harns, does any good to you? No right? Neither your nemesis is illfare with it. It’s just waste of your time and of course your energy.
Abb I’m not asking you to apply that forget and forgive wali policy even iam not that sanyasi kind a person..
So how to get over without even regretting that you couldn’t take revenge?
TURN SELFISH – yes just turn selfish and weigh the importance of every second of your life. Why spare so much time just to think about an inconsequential numskull. And while you are thinking about revenge it constantly reminds you of the misery you have gone through.

So become selfish!

Now talking about those revenge fantasies! Well there is nothing wrong in wasting your time thinking about revenge ideas, but don’t forget to think about the repercussions too!
Why become a criminal and ruin your life just for some louse moron?

Well after becoming selfish understand that living well is the best way to get even. Because nothing derives your tormentors imsane than seeing you happy, smiling and living a good life.
And i dont think there’s any law that forbids us “showing off” our happiness. Just laugh like a lunatic in front of that jerk. Trust me it kills them!