I’ve been reflecting on my social struggles and the lingering pain I still carry from college. Despite trying, I didn’t make a single friend during those years. I had a difficult roommate and often had to go home on weekends just to get a few hours of sleep. Most people I met were very different from me, and finding common ground felt nearly impossible. Growing up, I faced bullying for being Venezuelan, struggled with shyness, and only recently received my NVLD diagnosis—if I’d known sooner, maybe things would’ve been easier socially.

I was lucky to have a positive experience at my international school, where I connected with a few kind peers. But college was a different story: even people who seemed like “perfect friends on paper” turned out cold or unkind. My well-meaning mom often tried to push me toward friendships she thought would work, but they never aligned with who I really am.

Now, at almost 27, I have many acquaintances but very few true friends—one from childhood, one from middle school, a few from international school, and some I met living abroad after college. Today I went to a book club and, while I didn’t have high expectations, I didn’t click with anyone and felt awkward. Still, I’m trying not to throw in the towel. I want to keep putting myself out there, open to connection, and cultivate real, supportive friendships.

How do I heal from being socially isolated in college, stop old wounds from influencing new relationships, and finally find the people I truly click with? I’d love to hear from anyone who’s faced similar challenges or has advice for making genuine adult friendships.