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How to tell my bf I don’t want to travel with him now

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Valora 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #318207

    Rafael
    Participant

    I’m taking a 1-week specialization course in another city, M-F 7pm – 11pm, and my bf wants to come with me and enjoy the city (he lived there for 6 years and goes back there every two weekends).
    However, I have the gut feeling they I’ll be stressed by thinking I’ll have to give him attention in my spare time, while I might want to relax or keep on working on my business.
    more details:

    I’ve been studying in another city while he’s back to our hometown (we come from the same place).

    We see each other every month during my semesters and every vacation we stay together in my house. I know he misses me and I care about him, but I wanted this week I’m spending in that other city to be exclusively dedicated to my professional development.

    #318213

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rafael:

    I think that it is fair that you choose this week in that other city to be exclusively dedicated to your professional development and not spend any of it with your boyfriend. In most instances we have to look for what is good for us first, as our first priority.

    In some emergency situations, let’s say your boyfriend is sick and there is no one to take care of him, so you postpone that week in the other city and spend it with him. But in the circumstance you outlined, there is  no emergency (and you are not choosing to party without him). So  it is fair that you do what is right for you.

    anita

    #318217

    Valora
    Participant

    I think you should just explain to him what you explained here. You can soften it if you want by telling him you love spending time with him and understand why he wants to come, but you really want to dedicate the week solely to professional development so that you can get the most out of it that you possibly can, and you don’t want him to feel neglected or to worry about not giving him enough attention. Hopefully he will understand, because I think what you want is reasonable.

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