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Humiliation

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  • November 19, 2018 at 6:35 am #238385
    Priya
    Participant

    My students saw me somewhat naked today. I was in washroom to relieve myself. Perhaps the door was not closed properly so someone opened the door and saw me. I don’t even know who they are. I am so humiliated. I don’t know what to do. What if they spread it among the students? I am devastated.

    November 19, 2018 at 8:17 am #238441
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Priya:

    Calm down best you can, this embarrassment will pass, things like this happen and life goes on.

    Let’s say someone opened the door and saw you. Maybe the person doesn’t know you or didn’t recognize you. Maybe the person was shocked, embarrassed herself and left quickly, not even knowing it was you she (or he) saw.

    Let’s say the person saw you and recognized it was you. It is only that one person who saw you. The whole episode was quick, so the observer didn’t  see  much, not in detail.

    And then, if she tells others, the others will not be able to see you naked through the account  of the one.  If any of the others ever approach you with the story, you can say it didn’t happen.

    In other words,  if a person did see you and tells others, being unkind that way, you are under no obligation to verify the account, you can say it is not true. Sometimes lying is okay, and this is one of these times.

    Taking into consideration all these things, it is not a terrible thing overall. These things happen to everyone,  including to the person who opened that door! The humiliating feeling will go away with a bit of time. Post again if you need to.

    anita

    November 19, 2018 at 9:05 am #238451
    Peter
    Participant

    Hi Priya

    What if… two words at the source of so much suffering. Would it help to know that 99% of our what ifs never happen? Or that of the “ifs” that did happen you dealt with and survived? Probably not. We feel what we feel. However, we don’t have to attach ourselves to the emotions or thoughts. Notice how past embarrassments faded in time. Other stuff happened, and your focus went else where.

    When I am embarrassed, I feel it, beat myself up, all the usual stuff… while holding in the back of my mind the realization that tomorrow I will be concerned about something else.  In this way I create the space to detach my focus from the event and move on. Allowing the moment to flow as all moments flow regardless of how we imagine we can grasp onto them.

    Also, the student is also likely embarrassed, maybe more so, and will want to keep it to themselves and pretend nothing happened.

    November 19, 2018 at 3:03 pm #238535
    Brandy
    Participant

    Hi Priya,

    It’s unfortunate that it happened but don’t lose sleep over this. There may be a few whispers about this incident but they won’t last long. Gossip about a teacher that sticks involves some kind of wrongdoing on the teacher’s part, but you’ve done nothing wrong. For example, if you showed up at a school basketball game after having too much to drink and fell over courtside, that’s gossip that would stick. If you were having an extramarital affair with another teacher, that also would stick. The incident that happened to you today won’t stick. By week’s end or before, it’s old news.

    Everyone urinates. Everyone poops. Boring.

    B

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