I always run?

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    So I’m in college which on one hand is young but I also know a lot of friends who are in or have been in relationships. Anyway, I have never had an official boyfriend. The high school I went to had the same kids I’d always gone to school with, plus back then I wasn’t the most attractive person ever and was focused on school, dance and cheer, not silly “relationships”. Come senior year, I had finally grown out of the ugly stage, had met guys from other schools. I’d gone to the movies with guys, kissed guys but nothing serious. Every time a guy wanted to take it further, I ran. I stopped talking to him and moved on. I always thought it was because I was less experienced, that everyone had lost their virginity and I hadn’t. Yet over the summer I did lose it to some guy I didn’t like and barley knew just for the sake it of. Went away to school, gained plenty of experience but yet again met a guy who when I started to actually have feelings for ran. I justified this one by saying that I was changing schools and it would be pointless, which on one hand is true. Now I’ve been talking to thus guy who I used to work with. He’s genuinely nice, has paid when we went out for coffee and for lunch. Texts me to see how my day is going. I even went fishing for the first time with him a few days ago. He’s actually a nice guy for once, easy to be around etc. But he admitted that he did in fact like me and wanted to take things slow. Now once again I dread seeing his name pop up on my phone, I have no desire to follow through on the plans we made for next week…I just want to disappear on him. And I don’t know why. He’s done nothing wrong, just like everyone else. Obviously I can’t keep running from every single guy or I’ll end up all alone but I don’t know how to push past this and actually give someone a chance for once.


    Wow, that sucks. And is it truly a deep dark mystery to you why you run? If you keep running, it’s probably because you’re afraid, right? So what could be some of the things you’re afraid of?

    If you know what you’re afraid of, you might be able to do things in such a way that you feel safe even while you push forward. And then you can do things other than run when you’re dealing with this fear.

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