Dear Natasha:

I am delighted to write to a Romanian. My grandparents were Romanian and spoke only Romanian all their lives. My father left Romania when he was in his 20s, but I have never been there and I wonder how it is to live in the country. I wish I visited the country when I used to travel.

You wrote about your boyfriend: “he lives in a very modern way (digital nomad)”. Digital nomads are (from online): “a type of people who use telecommunications technologies to earn a living.. Such workers often work remotely from foreign countries, coffee shops.. This is often accomplished through the use of devices that have wireless internet capabilities such as smartphones or mobile hotspots.. Technological innovation and globalisations are enabling them to work from anywhere with an internet connection”.

Let’s look at what happens when a digital  nomad whose work involves using only his digits aka fingers (touching buttons on small mobile internet devices), and not the .. traditional way of working which involves using more than fingers: arms and upper body, and legs and so forth:

He goes to a restaurant with you, traditionally pays for it digitally, then walk to your car. He sees a young man stealing your iPad, sees you yelling at the thief, sees you catching the thief’s arm, sees him hitting you, hear ask him to help you, sees you throwing a knee kick on the thief’s stomach and twisting his arm, holding his arm while he struggled, hears you call him to help you overpower the thief… and what does your boyfriend do while all this is happening?

– He is using what he is used to be using: his digits, the parts of his body at the end of his arms: he opens your bag and looks in it for a pepper spray which he planned on squeezing with one of his digits. Next, he picked up your phone and .. used his digits to call the police.

When you date a strictly digital man you get .. digital help, when you are in physical trouble. I can see how this experience fouled your dating experience with this man, it’s tough to overcome an experience like this, that is, experiencing being in a physical confrontation and not being physically helped by your boyfriend.

Was he embarrassed as a result  of all this, what did he say to you about it all?

anita

Dear Natasha:

Your story makes me think of courting behavior in nature: how males compete for the attention of a female for the purpose of mating with her, each male showing his size and strength and the female choosing the biggest and strongest male so that her babies get superior genes and will be big and strong themselves. What your boyfriend exhibited when you struggled with the thief, was .. extreme weakness. If he helped you fight the thief and didn’t do a good job at it, that would be showing you some strength, and you could figure: maybe he needs to take a self defense class and get better at it. But your boyfriend did nothing but use his digits to look in your purse and make a phone call.

Regarding your “doubt about making (your) life with him”- if I was you, I would  wonder if I had a child with him, will he fight for his own child or just call for help while his child is fighting for his or her life.

When you wrote that you searched his stuff and stole his email password because you can’t trust him, you mean that you don’t trust him beyond him not helping you with the theif?

anita