Home→Forums→Relationships→I apologized years later and got no response.
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Mindy.
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October 6, 2016 at 1:51 pm #117382
MindyParticipantMy ex-husband was terrible to me. We were together for a very long time. As soon as we got married we got divorced. He slept with my best friend and everyone under the sun. He was extremely irate and controlling. Physically and mentally abusive to the point where he almost killed me. He was the one that filed for the divorce. I wanted to reconcile, he didn’t. I decided he wasn’t worth it, then he tried to come back after the divorce. I wasn’t interested.
We were best friends before we started dating. We were somehow able to reestablish this post divorce until we both starting dating other people. I asked him to no longer contact me once I moved to another state with my now husband. I told him I think it’s only fair to give our new partners a fair chance. He didn’t like it at all but complied.
Since then I have heard from random people about how he trashes me to everyone he meets. It has taken a lot not to confront him.
It’s been 3 years and I am at a great place in my life. I am happily married to the man of my dreams, a complete 180 compared to my past.
I was recently talking to my husband about my thoughts on messaging my ex and just apologizing on my behalf for the things I said or the way I acted, just to say it and end it for good.
My husband was completely on board with this, he even messaged his ex girlfriend that he had guilt about for leaving her the way he did. She was very nice and send a kind reply.
I sent my ex husband a message just saying that I feel I owe him an apology and I’m sorry for the way things ended. I have learned a lot since then and wish him well.
He read it and didn’t reply.
Then strangely enough I logged into LinkedIn and saw he had viewed my profile 6 days ago.
WTF?!
My best friend and my husband both think he will only respond to negativity. Had I accused him of something or cussed him out he would have responded. But because I was positive and wished him well he didn’t because he has had zero growth since I parting.
Also to note, I am not interested in a friendship or anything further with the ex. I guess I was hoping he matured and would say he was sorry as well. I had to move on from him with no apology, ever.
October 6, 2016 at 5:18 pm #117386
Adam PParticipantHi there green tea Buddha,
Well kudos to you for gathering the strength to go back and contact your ex husband with an apology. The only problem here is the holding your breath for an apology. The obvious clue here is his viewing your online profile. Now there are two reasons; a. He read your apology and viewed your profile for emotional attachment reasons or b. He was cyber stalking you and looking to play a mental game.
Whatever the reason it was, I’m sure you are aware that in life you may NEVER EVER receive an apology from someone who has hurt you. In most cases when you apologize to someone who has hurt you they will either not respond or give you the silent treatment and pretend it is over, until one day they cyber stalk you or find a reason to contact you (ie birthdays,holidays,etc.) You did the strong thing and all that is left is for you to move forward and let individuals such as ex fall by the wayside.
All the best
Thank you and take care.
-AP85October 6, 2016 at 5:49 pm #117387MindyParticipantAdam,
Thank you for the thoughtful and kind response. I can only assume he viewed my profile for cyber stalking purposes. He viewed it before I sent the message to him. It’s sad that he hasn’t grown since our time together, but it’s not my problem. That’s something I will be forever thankful for
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