hi @nonamenoname

did something traumatic happen recently? or is this just something you have felt for a while now just because?

I remember feeling exactly as you described one year ago when my then girlfriend and I broke up. It was a complete blind sided breakup and I was in a very depressive state for some time.

If this is the cause of something that recently happened in your life, just know that it does and will get better. you just have to give it time and continue pushing through.

If this is something that is chronic and you have just felt like this for a long time, you may want to think about getting professional help. I did last year and I can honestly say it was very eye opening and extremely worthwhile.

We all go through the times of despair and hopelessness in our life but believe me this worst time will pass very quickly and good things are surely gonna happen. Try to think about people who are happy, positive and love their life don’t think about people who are negative, afraid and unhappy. In his phase, seeking professional help is the best thing if you don’t want to talk with any one. Your loneliness will not stay forever and you’ll definitely find someone who will love you with the core of their heart. All you need to do is start thinking positively about yourself and life.

I admire your courage in asking for help. Don’t think that it’s not. Some people wouldn’t be able to ask for help like you just did, so that’s a step in the right direction. It seems that you are viewing your life as if the moon is obscured by clouds; it’s a dark filter over something that is truly beautiful, so you can’t see it. I assure you that it’s there, and I have been through a similar situation. It’s okay to feel sad, it’s okay to be lonely. You’re not a bad person if you’re afraid to ask for help or afraid of being judged; that’s only human nature. Your concerns are natural and appropriate. If you see a man who is sick, do you blame him for being sick? Of course not. You are sick, dear friend, and having been through a similar situation I can tell you that sometimes you must ask for help. I was stuck at the bottom of a dark pit without a ladder, and I couldn’t climb out on my own. If you have that dark filter over your eyes, those clouds obscuring the moon so it’s impossible to see, you need external help to remove it.

When I went to therapy, I was worried. I didn’t want to sit and talk about “feelings.” I didn’t want someone to tell me to just think positive and that I should stop being self destructive. I didn’t want to be judged. It wasn’t like that at all. I had all of these false expectations of what it would be like just because I was scared. Therapy saved my life, and that’s where I learned so many important skills that I still use to manage my mind. Friend, you need somebody to place the ladder in the pit. Please don’t be ashamed of that. I needed help too, and many other people needed help, and it’s so worth it. I know it’s scary, but I want to challenge you to take that step. Do it, try it out for even just a month. If you don’t like it or don’t think it’s helping, you can stop. But you’ll never know until you try.

I know how hard it is to hear and understand when people are trying to tell you how much they love you. It’s one of the hardest things in the world. Accept that there are clouds over the moon right now, and you must clear them away before you can truly see. It’s unfair to yourself to try to judge yourself right now when your vision isn’t clear.

@nonamenoname , your post was just heartbreaking to read. It sounds like you are in the throes of some serious depression, which, as some of the other posters have said, is not your fault!

Something important to remember is that often, in our heads, we assume our thoughts are the truth, when in reality, our tjoughts are just our interpretations of the world. For example, you think you’re not a good best friend and assume your thoughts are the truth, but your friend may think the total opposite. You think you are selfish, but you also said, despite all the pain you’re in, you care about others and you try to be a good friend. That’s the opposite of selfish in most people’s books!

I also encourage you to pursue therapy if you have the means. Therapists help you examine and challenge your assumptions about yourself and the world (like what I discussed above) so you can avoid catastrophizing and think more rationally. When we’re in the pit of despair in our minds, we train our thought processes to be negative, so even somewhat positive experiences seem bittersweet (ie your friendship example). Therapy helps retrain your thought patterns so the good can shine through, and so you can be realistic about the bad.

Keep fighting, and keep reaching out! You are needed and you CAN find a way out of this pain if you continue sharing and connecting with others. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you feel suicidal, call a crisis line and chat – they deal with these emotions daily: 1-800-273-8255

I agree with everyone above. It is time to get professional help. I felt just like you do, I was calling in sick to work and asking my professors for an extension on homework deadlines. I finally realized I had to do more when it started affecting my relationships. My psychiatrist is a very nice woman who does not make me feel bad about myself or manipulate me. I am not sure why you think you will be deceived by a professional but that has not been my experience at all. I did decide that the one on one meetings with the therapist were not helpful FOR ME but my psychiatrist kept working with me and I am feeling much better these days.
Also, friends want you to confide in them. That’s what friends do.
You’ve got to do something and since you already feel like life is not worth living, what is the harm in trying something different? Fake it until you make it!!

Dear @nonamenoname,
Wherever you are, from me to you.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by sophrosyne.

Hi nonamenoname,

Either something happened recently to trigger the feelings or they have been there due an event that happened a while back !

Anyway, what matters now is that you know that you are NOT alone and you are NOT broken !!

Here is the link to an article that should help you: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm

I am also including a link below to one of my fav songs.

I pray your angels guide you forward.

GOD Bless !