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I don't want/like my boyfriends gift. How do I get past the way I am feeling?

HomeForumsRelationshipsI don't want/like my boyfriends gift. How do I get past the way I am feeling?

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  • #82633
    Phoebe
    Participant

    Hello.

    I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 26. We’ve been together nearly 2 years. He recently went to Italy on a family vacation. When he left we had a conversation about “gifts/souvenirs” that he would bring back for me. I told his specifically that I wanted very small things if anything, because I have recently really been trying to minimize how many things I own and adopt a more minimalist lifestyle in general. Currently my philosophy is that any souvenir that I get for myself when I travel has to be small enough to hold in my fist. I had a problem with knick knacks in the past, figurines and boxes and that sort of thing. I’ve made great progress in getting rid of anything that doesn’t have a lot of sentimental value to me.

    To cut a long story short he brings me back quite a few gifts. Most of them I really love. A pair of earrings, a small drawing journal, a magnet, things that are useful or small(or both). But then he pulls out a big jewelry box. It’s pretty, with a ballerina on it. I love that he was so thoughtful, because I’m a ballet dancer. He said as soon as he saw it he knew it was the perfect gift for me. And I love him for that so much. But I can’t help but really not like it.

    I feel horribly guilty that all I want to do is tuck it away in the back of my closet when he was so considerate and generous. And he really is the most generous and kind person I know, which are some of the reasons why I fell in love with him.

    I just don’t know how to get past the fact that I don’t want and don’t like this particular gift. Please help!

    #82637
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear blackcatlover:

    As I was reading your post I anticipated that your bf would bring you a big gift because he ignored your request and didn’t listen to you. But when you wrote that you are a ballet dancer I imagined how excited he was about the jewelry box. So I thought his excitement over-shadowed your request for small gifts which is different than coldly ignoring your request. So, at this point I am thinking why not ask him if you can keep the jewelry box in his place, not in your place because it is too big for your minimalist lifestyle. That way you don’t have it in your home. He likes it, so he can have it in his home and you can both … enjoy it together there.

    Will it be your first belonging located in his home? this could be romantic… here I am being carried away.

    anita

    #82641
    Phoebe
    Participant

    Thank you for your suggestion, that might actually work! However it wouldn’t be the first thing that was at his home, I lived with him for a couple of months when I was between apartments this summer. It still could be romantic though 🙂 Thank you so much for your thoughtful response Anita.

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