Hey everyone, I started my second year of college last month and it’s quite a demanding course, which is why I haven’t been too active. I feel like I’ve found my center again since I last posted here, and that I’m no longer at the mercy of my own thoughts. I just got finished watching a film called Three To Tango, and it’s about a boss of a company sending someone he’s looking to hire to essentially spy on his girlfriend, and, because he thinks the person he’s trying to hire is gay, he’s not worried about him. To cut a long story short, he isn’t gay, and he falls in love with his future boss’s girlfriend, but he keeps up the ruse that he is until he almost gets the job and is asked to speak at an LGBT Awards ceremony. He completely absconds from his speech and talks about how inspired he is by all the actual gay people in the room who were honest about who they are, and says he wishes he could be like them. The girl he’s been pining after walks out of the ceremony after he says “I’m not gay and I’m in love with you” and after pursuing her, is punched. It just helped me remember that living your truth always comes with a cost, but if you can sleep soundly at night knowing you’ve been the realest version of yourself you can be, then it’s worth it.

I also wrote this song to help me cope with stressful situations, it’s called Look For The Lesson :

For the longest time

I used to scream and shout at the world

Because I really wanted to know why

Do I always get the short end of the stick

And have the worst things happen to me

But then it came to me (came to me

Wondered why I didn’t see (Why didn’t I see?)

That if I want to see some progression

That I should start looking for the lessons

So I started to

Look past the hurt, Look past the pain

Look past my pride to see what I could gain

When you start to look at things in a different light

You’ll be suprised to see what you will find

No longer a victim

No longer ashamed

No longer trying to find something to blame

It’s really up to you

Growth or pity, what will you choose

Never understood

How people could walk through the fire

And say “I feel real good”

But positivity’s a mind set

And I ain’t never had my mind set

On being a winner

And that’s why my patience got thinner and thinner

Just had to take a second look at my situation

And that’s when I found this affirmation

Chorus

You don’t have to be a victim of circumstance

When you’re faced with adversity, then take the chance

To learn something new, become a better you

See the whole thing through

Whenever you feel like you’ve lost your way

Close your eyes take a breat, and remember to say

“I won’t block my blessings, I’ll look for the lesson”

Chorus

End