I my scared that my “I love you’s” aren’t as honest as the way I speak them. I’ve been officially with my boyfriend a bit over 2 months, we’ve said I love you, because we were basically on/off since late February of this year. We went through a lot, my family , his ex(temporarily), my attitude, just drama so we broke up about 3 times, when we lasted a few days-to very few weeks. He has lost his job a couple months back and I’ve been giving him money for his insurance and phone bill, let me point out he has never forced me to give him money. And I have volunteered and been willing to help, because if I can’t build up with him at a tough time, how can I expect us to grow? Well I’ve been feeling either selfish or used with giving him money and I try so hard not and I lie and tell him i don’t feel any feelings against helping him, but I just don’t can’t help from being paranoid & scared that I’ll be used like how I felt used by my ex best friend. We went through a lot of fights up until this point and I think the past is what’s blocking my judgment. I don’t know what to ddo, I’ve cried about this a couple of times, because I pictured a future with him and one w/o him, and being with him looked the happiest. I think, dream, talk about him all the time, I still am turned on by hi., and I do laugh and smile when I think and am around him, but the thoughts of do I really love him? Get to me a lot, I just don’t want to make a mistake and have it get to me at the end. Because I know I’m really tough in a relationship, plus he’s my first everything , this is a big deal for me to understand the jumble of a mess my mind is right now. Help.