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I felt worthless after she confessed? Why?

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  • #236957
    xlea
    Participant

    My big exams have finished recently but there are many more projects that I have to work on.

    Just recently, this girl confessed to me. I didn’t like her but I didn’t reject her yet. I was planning on doing it the day after to give both of us sometime. Afterwards when she went home, I cried and the only phrase that kept repeating in my head was, “I am worthless”. I was surprised at my own reaction? It didnt make sense why I would think this way.

    All the self- degrading thoughts clouded my mind and I just kept crying. I know i wasn’t crying because of that girl who confessed. Which puzzled me more and made me feel I was out of my mind. My chest was tight and it felt horrendous.

    To give some context: My social life and studies from my point of view has not been going the best. However besides this, everything else is actually really fine. There’s nothing wrong really.

    The last time someone had confessed it triggered a milder form of the same reaction and I was upset for really long? And in general anything that has to do with liking someone romantically puts me in a really depressed state. I really dont understand why. I have had no bad dating experience or witnessed bad dating experiences.

    But this situation has left me with a strange question: who am i?

    I am really confused.

    #236961
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear xlea:

    The thought “I am worthless” and “the self-degrading  thoughts” are not about this young  woman confessing to you, nor is it about your or others’ dating  experience (“I have had  no bad  dating experience or witnessed bad  dating experiences”). I think it is about you as a child, as a boy having been criticized and rejected by a parent/ care taker, someone who took care  of you.

    What do you think?

    anita

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