April 24, 2017 at 4:17 am #146403AnonymousInactive
I have posted on this site several times in the past. I will try to keep this brief.
I’m 26 (nearly 27) and have always felt very unstable in jobs – I think it’s likely I have ADHD from what I have looked into, but no formal diagnosis as of yet. But my mind is very active and if I’m in a position that bores me, I really struggle to stay motivated.
I am a creative person – and I’m very caring, especially towards animals.
When I left school, I didn’t know what to do. I ended up studying (not at Degree level – just College in the UK) Business and Finance because it felt like a ‘safe’ option that covered a lot of group. This was around 10 years ago, and only recently have I understood just how much of a hole I have dug myself by keeping distracted by everyday things and having too many hobbies.
I tend to work jobs for a year or two and then get to the point of being very depressed and anxious … feeling like I am wasting my life, and then I quit. I have been off work for 3 weeks since I tried a role that was clearly not good for me (answering calls all day, and speaking with angry tenants of a housing association – dealing with complaints mostly). The atmosphere was very negative and a few members of staff in particular made it extremely unpleasant to be in their company.
I am a sensitive person, but I am doing my best now to become stronger, more resilient and better socially. One of my biggest obstacles is in experiencing social anxiety. As an introvert, I find office jobs quite stimulating and it’s hard not to feel distracted by conversation and underlying moods.
My CV (resume) highlights jobs in Motor Insurance, Admin and Customer service roles … I don’t feel they reflect me as a person and now I feel boxed in. I’m getting depressed looking at job sites every day – finding nothing that inspires me… and not even finding much of what doesn’t.
I throw a lot of my energy and effort into my YouTube channel and I’m soon to hit 3000 subscribers, but I have been doing this a long time and there is no money in it, which is a shame.
I went to an Open Day for a 3-year Counselling and Psychotherapy course recently. I think I will do the course, which starts in September, but I still have a lot of fear and self-doubt about my abilities. My main concern is being stable with an income. I moved out with my girlfriend last November and feel I am letting her down by sitting at home all day, trying to find a job, while she is working 6 days a week (as she is doing an apprenticeship on top of a regular job). Rent is pretty cheap, and we get along great but I want to make her (and my family) proud. I have always been the person who they worry about, because I fall to pieces in these standard jobs. It’s as if I have a sense of self-importance… I just can’t settle for a mediocre life. I feel like a number when I work in an office just doing something for the money.
I’ve been looking after the house chores and preparing dinner and stuff like that, but being home by myself all day is obviously not great. I recently started going back to a community centre to play Badminton and last week I started a Fiction Writing course.
I have about £4000 left in savings, so could survive for 4-5 months if I don’t spend any money but I don’t want to waste my savings doing nothing and I worry about having to explain another gap in my Career (if you call my jobs a Career). The first week off was nice, but I have made no progress despite many applications and I am starting to freak out a bit about where my life is headed. The only offers from recruitment agencies are for low-money, mundane jobs that will give me no skills or reputation to progress in the future.
I consider myself very soulful and switched on… which makes me feel a bit isolated. I am a Vegan and quite minimalist. I just want a chance to express my true self and to fit into this World, doing my bit to contribute. Taking another crap job will lead me back to feeling hopeless.
Any wisdom would be appreciated. Everything feels so hard now.
Maybe some action steps that I can follow …
Thanks for your time.April 24, 2017 at 6:50 am #146417jakegreenParticipant
Hey Stefan, I’ve just read your post. I had a similar problem with the job, I changed positions very often. In 2015 I’ve changed 5companies, NGO, marketing and tech startup, sales and that was boring. I felt that any kind of that job will not give me the impulse for the development. I remember when everything has changed. I was watching a video on youtube, something about motivation, and realized that there’s no job that can make me happy, and If I’m not taking everything under control then there’s no way to change anything. I mean working for yourself, as a freelancer, not for the company. I’ started as a template and content writer. Then I worked with student’s essays at https://essayshark.com and that was really difficult at the beginning, but now I feel really inspired, happy and motivated, cause I’m working whenever I want and choosing projects I’m working with. I’ve noticed that your writing style is simple and you mentioned the Writing course. Probably you could also try this path.
I’ve noticed that your writing style is simple and very understandable and you mentioned the Writing course. Probably you could also try this path. There’s a lot of topics that could be covered, like travel blogs, design, news, novels, writing services etc.
I hope that It could be helpful for you. By the way, I just wanted to recommend you my favorite book “The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.” by Jack Canfield.April 24, 2017 at 8:54 am #146433anitaParticipant
There may be experiencing a significant conflict (?) between these two things:
1. “I am… quite minimalist. I just want a chance to express my true self and to fit into this World, doing my bit to contribute”
2. “(I) feel I am letting her (live-in girlfriend) down by sitting at home all day, trying to find a job, while she is working 6 days a week… I want to make her (and my family) proud”
If making your girlfriend and family proud means holding a job you hate, that is a conflict. If you can survive as a minimalist, living a simple, non materialistic life, but such is disapproved or (or you think it will be) by your girlfriend- that is a problem.
Looking for your family’s approval by living not in congruence with your “true self”- is a problem.
Your thoughts on this?
anitaApril 24, 2017 at 9:03 am #146435AnonymousInactive
I’ve read some of that book previously… It’s on my Kindle though, so I will bear it in mind.
There are lots of books I am meaning to read while I have the time.April 24, 2017 at 9:05 am #146437AnonymousInactive
Thanks for your reply Anita.
I’m not sure there is a conflict, but I will clarify.
I don’t care much for material things, but I still need enough money to afford food and a home. But my freedom is also important, so working a rubbish job isn’t great either.
However, I want to make my family proud by doing something that I can be passionate about… I don’t want to slip back into another job just for paying the bills.
As a highly sensitive person, purpose any privacy is quite important.April 24, 2017 at 9:41 am #146441anitaParticipant
You are welcome. I understand the need to make enough money to afford food and a place to live in. You have enough money to survive 4-5 months you wrote. I hope you use this time to find a suitable job for you. Not a perfect job (is there such a thing…), but a suitable job, fitting who you are.
anitaApril 25, 2017 at 11:22 am #146689JenniferParticipant
I couldn’t have explained how I feel about my current job more accurately myself…I work for an insurance company taking calls currently and it’s NOT FOR ME! Except even with savings comparable to yours I continue to work, I just do so full of resentment; too afraid to leave because I also feel boxed in. I’ve convinced myself that I’ll never get back in to a clinical setting because I chose to move in the non-clinical direction. I am living in fear.
It sounds like you know what you don’t want but haven’t pinned down what you do; that’s where I’m at, also. Your post was really inspiring to me because you did something about it, you had the gall to leave with plans to Look for a more suitable position. Each day I grow more angry, mostly at myself, but beyond sending out my resume I’ve made no change at all.
after reading your post I called one of the facilities I applied to and left a message with the manager. I’m going to try to be more proactive in backtracking to a position I once held and enjoyed. Thanks for sharing!July 27, 2017 at 6:43 am #160458ArnoldParticipant
It is very difficult for people with higher IQ to stay motivated. They normally have a short concentration ability especially when their jobs are repetitive in nature. Taking a less repetitive job would work miracles for you.
I would recommend you take up a freelance job such as those available on upwork.com or ttps://theessaypro.com.
Taking up freelance jobs, sorted my problems which were similar to yours.July 22, 2020 at 8:21 am #362371ThomasParticipant
I think you should write a book about it.December 30, 2020 at 6:59 pm #371904ElizabethParticipant
Any job search should start with a good resume and CV. And of course, finding a job that will inspire you. I found a good article on what every candidate should ask in a job interview: https://ivypanda.com/blog/12-career-experts-on-questions-to-ask-in-a-job-interview/
Very useful, especially for those who are looking for a job now.June 3, 2021 at 9:15 am #380907rohitahujaParticipant
I hope you have found your answer by now