I like your name myotherme.

For a long time I was my ‘myotherme’ and gosh she was a pain in the butt (and yes often thought suicide was the only option). I get those facebook look back on your memories things now and cringe at some of the stuff i posted about my life and myself but it makes me realise that I have changed I am not even that person anymore – although she still pops in every now and then to let me know she is still around or to point out some other things I need to work on 🙂

I like being on the other side where I am this me (if that makes sense) and I no longer identify myself as her although it does make my head feel crowded sometimes when now me is having to talk some sense in to her or calm her down about stuff.

I got two things from your original post that I wanted to share

1. It is normal to feel this

I spent years working putting myself through college to obtain as Masters degree in teaching, only to feel that it I couldn’t be successful in that career. I let myself down and failed. I hated myself for all the sacrifice and work I put myself through, only to discover I couldn’t live up to my expectations or overcome my challenges.

but it doesn’t make it a correct assessment of the situation. Well done for putting yourself through college and equal well done for realising it wasn’t the career for you. That takes guts! And insight! And real strength of character – so many people would have stuck with something that wasn’t right because they were scared. Failing to be something that isn’t right isn’t failing its trying it out. Failing would have been not even trying to get your Masters in the first place 🙂

2. Be nicer to yourself. You are doing the best you can with the cards you were dealt. Forgive yourself for how you treated your ex because you have learnt from that experience and it sounds like that you isn’t the you now. Stop thinking current you deserves to be punished for what past you did. Punishment is there to stop someone doing something (already done it seems) and make them learn not to do it again (already done it seems) so in your case no longer needed.

Anyway you don’t need me waffling on at you (im not as insightful as Anita and I’m ok with that) but I’m serious about being nice to yourself, specifically talking nice to yourself (in your head if you are in public obviously!) It was the start of everything for me 🙂

hugs

Eris

Thank you 🙂

Just so you know other me was a bit anxious about posting so to get your response means an awful lot as it really helps to have the the ‘proof’ to show yourself that your fears were normal but not necessarily the truth.

I wish you so much strength and fun getting to be the new you and developing your relationship with your other me. The other me is not a bad person, they are trying their best to protect you with their behavior, they just are terrible at knowing what is really helpful or having proper coping mechanisms!