So I have been going back and forth on whether I should apologize for a text I sent or just let it go. I was dating this woman at work for about a month and a half. Everything started out great until a day at work someone on her tem told her that I date a lot of women at my job and she didn’t want to be just another one of the list. Of course this isn’t true, I actually don’t like to mix my work life with my personal. I do get a lot of attention from the women at my job but only once did I have an interpersonal relationship with someone and that was 2 years ago. In any case, she told me how she has trust issues and we eventually worked it out but it was still on my mind that she thought I was the office hoe. So we went on a couple of dates and everything was okay but I could tell that she was pulling away a bit. I asked her about it on a few occasions but she never really answered the question but simply said she has financial obligations. One night I was working overtime and got off before she did, so I asked her if she wanted me to wait for her and she did. When she got off I could tell she was upset and needed to talk, so we walked around campus as she told me how she felt guilty for not telling me about her situation sooner but she didn’t know if she could trust me. Also, she was concerned that if she told me what was going on in her life, I wouldn’t want to talk to her anymore. so she told me how she still live with ex because she needed help with her rent but that was all when I asked if they were still involved. Now this didn’t really strike me as something wrong at the time because I’ve known people who had their ex as a roommate simply because it was financially feasible and that was it. So I didn’t run away and told her it wasn’t a problem. So we talked some more when she asked me a sensitive question and I told her I didn’t want to talk about it. She immediately got angry and I responded by saying ” Oh wow”! I guess she took this I me getting she took that as me getting ready to argue but I was just surprised by her response. We just ended the conversation and went home. The next day I walked by her desk and she didn’t even look my way, so I took this as a sign that she didn’t want to talk to me and I left it alone. So I was off for the next few days because I had to go to an event and I thought about her the entire time. I sent her a text just before I got to work but she never responded. So when she got off work, I went out to the parking lot to talk to her and she told me that she has been having problems getting text and she will read it comes thru. So she liked my apology and we started going out on dates again but this time she was a little more distant. She would often reschedule or cancel on me but we still text each other sporadically. so one day we were texting and she mentioned that she was getting dog for her Christmas present. When I asked who it was from she mentioned that it was from her ex. As you can tell, I found this a little strange since they were supposed to be broken up. Later when we went out on another date she was talking about the and kept saying ‘we” whenever she mentioned what she needed to do or get for the puppy. Of course I her again if they had broken up and she mentioned that they were being cordial. At this point I started doing my research and it appeared that her ex thought they were still in a relationship. So one night she called me and she was upset. She was telling me how she’s tired of going thru everything and just wanted him to leave. She wanted me to be a friend and tell her what I think but this felt awkward to me I couldn’t give an unbiased opinion so I told her that she should do what is good for her health even if it puts a financial burden on her. The next day she text me asking if we can go out for drinks so we can talk about her question. She had asked me if we could be together but I held off on answering before because I did want to get to know her better. We met at a bar after work and she was already there with one of her girlfriends that work there. As they were talking I couldn’t help but to notice how it sounded like J and her ex had a more serious relationship than she mentioned but I didn’t question her on it. So after he bar closed we went back to her place where we talked some more and she asked me if we can be a couple. Now I know I should have told her that I think we should wait until she had some time from her situation but I said yes. Keep in mind that I was drinking on an empty stomach. So nothing happened that night other than me holding her in my arms until she fell asleep. When she woke up she told me that next time I come over I can stay the night. so I was feeling good driving home and everything seemed okay until the next day at work. We were texting each other back and forth when I got a text from saying that she was done with because the lady sitting right next told her that I was pursuing her and had been messaging her at work every day. Now, this person had been messaging me but I was only responded to her message and never pursued her in any regards. I didn’t respond to her right away because I knew I would say something that I couldn’t take back. I did send her a text later that night explaining what was going on and she agreed to a date the next day. I was nervous driving up there because I was sure she would cancel on me but she did come. So we talked some more and she told me what the lady said. Although I tried to explain things she still seemed unconvinced and down about the situation. so I asked for another the next day before I had to go to work. Now day time aren’t the best for but I did what I could to manage. she still seemed down about the situation but I couldn’t help but to think that this was not all about me. So she was taken the next day off and I asked her I she wanted me to do the same and she said yes but unfortunately I could not get that day off since there are fewer people in my department. So the next day I didn’t get a chance to text her until later night and she never respond. I ended up sending another the next afternoon but I came into work to tell her that I was sorry I didn’t text because I had something’s on my mind. I was expected her to ask what it was so I told her that I was stressed out by my financial situation and not making my goals. Her only response to that was “I see” but nothing else. So I thought everything was over but she did acknowledge me when I past her in the break room. I was leaving early that day because I was feeling sick. She just said she hope I feel better soon and I went home. I was out of the office for 3 days and didn’t text the entire time because I was still feeling under the weather. Now she had asked me if I would drive up to another city but when I asked her that morning if she was still going I never got an answer. Instead she just wanted to talk about cooking and her dog and that she would bring me a plate. Well, I found out that her ex was over at her place. Instead of asking her about it I just told her that I there if she need me and she can tell me anything no matter what. She understood and told me that she likes to give a 100 percent but she couldn’t right. So of course I would text her but she only responded to my text with short answers. so I wanted to asked her about it but kept chickening out whenever we would text. So I really wanted to talk to her in person but she always seem busy. One morning I just woke up and was frustrated with myself because I didn’t get a chance to talk to her in person when she cancel her date I had been procrastinating on the text I wanted to send so I just decided I was going to shoot of a text just before I went to work. Well, this was not a good idea because it took me 2 hours to 2 say what I wanted to say and I didn’t articulate it the way I wanted to. i told her that I was ready to go all in but if she wasn’t ready for it then i was going to pursue her romantically anymore but i still wanted to be friend. so of course i never got a resonse. At first i was felling okay about the text because I wanted he to talk to me or be done. Well, as I was driving to work I realized how I worded the email may have seem a little crazy. I didn’t want to send another text because I was concerned that I was say something in the wrong way. Plus I thought she probably thought I was crazy. So I decided the best thing to do was to my mind calm down but it’s very hard . I wanted to tell her that I was still here as her friend and if she needed me to give her space I would. If she needed me to be there more often then I would. I was just looking for clarification on what she needed me to be. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been debating on whether I should apologize or not and how to explain why I sent what I did. Since I sent the text she’s has gotten back with her ex and he proposed to her so I thought it would be strange to send her the text because it would seem like I was trying to get back with her when I only wanted to apologize with no expectation. I finally decided that I would send the apology but she broke up ex again and I thought she would feel like I’m just being opportunistic. so I finally got up the nerves to apologize but I think she’s dating someone at my job. I really want to give a sincere apology with no strings attached but I don’t know if I should nor if she will think I’m only doing it because of the new guy. On the hand I keep thinking about how she was together her ex the entire time we were dating and she kept saying it was that serious even thought she thought she was going to get engage before we got together. Also, she quickly went back to her boyfriend only after a week of breaking up. At this point if I was to have any type of relationship, it would only be as friends. it not that I feel I have the right to know what she’s going thru. It’s just that she offered only half the truth about her and her boyfriend relationship. Should I just continue to go about my business and let it go? And why I do still feel a sense of jealousy when I think about her dating another co-working . I was feeling sad about her being with her ex at first but it brought me some comfort knowing that I lost her to someone she had a 3 year relationship with. I was just at the point of being okay with it when I saw her with the other guy. Is my need to apologize is my way of trying to get my foot back in the door and that’s why I’m having a hard time trying to think of what to say? Am I really better off since she was dating me while she was with her ex? I know I should be but it doesn’t fell that sometimes. Apologizing to her seems like it will bring a sense of closure but figure out what are my motives. I want to do it but I keep stopping whenever I found out that she is with someone. I know one thing for sure, this is the last time I’m dating anyone from work.