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"I love him, but what we want in our life is totally different"

HomeForumsRelationships"I love him, but what we want in our life is totally different"

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  • #126305
    Coldestwinter
    Participant

    Two days ago i broke up with my boyfriend.

    He doesn’t want to get married. At first i did not want to get married and have kids as well. We were such a perfect couple.

    Months later, while my friends are getting married (and having kids) i felt that i changed my mind. I started want to have and build a family, while he doesn’t.

    I broke up with him. For the first time.

    2 days passed, and i couldn’t take it anymore. I asked him to get back together. He said yes. We were so deeply in love.

    A month later, he found out that i had been texting with someone else, and he got a lil bit jealous. He asked me and i honestly answered him, that i have been thinking of “back up plans” for my future. He was disapointed and we broke up. Again. For the second times.

    He was so devastated. We stayed at the same house. He went back to his hometown, and tried to calm himself down.

    A week later. I came back to him. Asked to get back together. Promised that i will cut all my communication with the aforementioned “back up plans”. We got back together. Again.

    After getting back together for the second time, i was in a relationship full of doubts. Instead of focusing on us, i am bothered each and every day, “how if someday i want to get married and leave him anw?” “It is unfair for him” etc.

    So i broke up with him. For the third time.

    I decided this should be the final break up for us. I broke his heart 3 times and it is more than enough.

    Hey you, i am really still in love with you. It’s just what i want and what you want for our lives are not the same. As you said “we are not in the same boat anymore”.

    Goodbye my love. I will always love you.

    #126308
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear coldestwinter:

    I hope that now that you are available, you will find a man who, like you, is interested in getting married and having children. You changed your mind about marriage/ family- you have that right. He kept hi initial position on the matter- that is his right. I hope both your hearts mend.

    Your love for him is clear.

    anita

    #126324
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi,

    Your post made me very thoughtful. Are you in love with the idea of marriage and children or with your boyfriend? Sometimes it sucks but you can´t have it all with the person that you love. That´s why so many end up marrying someone who on paper seems fine but emotionally and sentimentally things are all wrong.

    What is marriage anyway… just a piece of paper!! My boyfriend dump me, partly, because I was pressuring hi into getting married. I thought the piece of paper was going to make him commit more, when in reality it doesnt, if someone wants out wether they´re married or not, they´ll get out. That´s why the divorce rate is so high.

    At the start you didnt wanted children, but you saw your friends getting married and having children and so thought you wanted those things. Do you really???? or are you just following the pre-canned life and formula to happiness that has been packed and sold to the masses.

    Do you truly love your boyfriend?
    What do you truly want from your heart? Marriage and children? or are you just feeling pressured to get these things because other people are getting them.

    I just know that true authentic and pure love doesn´t come everyday. It´s rare, so if you´ve found it, don´t let it go, until you´ve really found what is it you want

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