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I made Stupide decision in the past and Today I am paying the price "

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • July 10, 2017 at 12:20 pm #157358
    Harold
    Participant

    Hi all,

    Couple years ago, I was having two closer friends female and the first girl had shown so much that she was interested in being in serious relationships with me. She was so hard and tough to open up, she could drive to my place and we could stay outside for hours talking, because she was so though and I didn’t show any interest in everything she was doing. The second girl had all the qualities that I was earnestly seeking in woman. Both were friends but not such close. So I fell in love with the second girl and rejected the former due to her being tough and strong character. The second girl whom I fell in love, everything was going well. Suddenly after 6 months of dating, she suddenly ended our relationships. I was traumatized and I lost even the taste of life. It was harder to move on. I had a lot of help from Tinybuddha.com that helped to move on.

    Here is the issues that I am facing right now. The former was aware of the relationship I had. She stoped communicating with me. 8 months after healing from the past, I started getting in touch with the former. She didn’t want to talk to me or do anything nor even see me. After several attempts inviting her for cup of coffee, she was rejecting everything I could do to ask her out. All this start causing pains within me and stressing me and I felt even a depression. Two weeks ago, I called her and asked her to meet with me for dinner, she finally accepted then something happen the same day, she had stomach pains. I was angry thought maybe she is lying rather it was serious. She apologized and postponed for the next Friday. Finally we met on Friday and we had awesome time. I realized that I had made a huge mistake for not seeing all she was doing for me to not fall in love with her. We talked and laughed all went as planned. ” I told her there are so many things I want to be talking, I send messages she replies after 40min or 1hour, then I said though you re not replying let me call, still you re not taking my calls? She said to me: she likes her space, she doesn’t enjoy chating or phone call. She likes personal conversations where people see each other. She said she doesn’t like checking out here and then as if somebody is sneaking on her.

    July 10, 2017 at 1:00 pm #157368
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Harold,

    It sounds to me that she may have some unresolved issues (maybe mental health), or maybe from a prior bad relationship, with Paranoia, also called Paranoid Personality Disorder, where someone always wants space, and feels like they are getting constantly checked on, or someone is going behind their back and sneaking in on their conversations, thus they become emotionally and physically unavailable, and unless resolved with therapy, are unable to have any sort of healthy relationship.

    Even if you were in a relationship with her, you would perhaps not be happy, because she would accuse you of doing things you are not doing, such as “cheating” “looking at her cell phone behind her back” “talking to your friends about her”..you would always be constantly defending yourself.

    If you are really in love with this woman, I would back off a little and let her take the lead and let her do all the initiating. If she really likes you, she will ask you to do things, or stop over, call, text. If she doesn’t, it might be time to move on to someone who wants to be in a healthy, loving, committed relationship.

    July 11, 2017 at 2:11 pm #157544
    Harold
    Participant

    Hi eliana

    you have my gratitude for taking the time to replying and giving in your inputs.

    Note: she had told me in our last meetings that she has become like that because of the past she had which I wasn’t  curious to know. I should probably focus on knowing what was that past that made her become ” the so called Paranoid .

    Thank you for your times, it means a lot to me.

     

    Harold

    July 11, 2017 at 2:41 pm #157546
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Harold,

    I sort of bad an inkling it had something to do with her past, and I think you are doing the right thing. You deserve to be in a relationship with a healthy woman capable of giving you the love and attention you deserve. Please post anytime.

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