May 9, 2013 at 1:58 pm #35315natalieParticipant
i really hope theres someone that could give me a bit of feedback…
fundamentally everything in my life is pretty good, and i feel very selfish and ungrateful to feel so lost, i have a wonderful partner whom im marrying in september, and great family, i manage a bar and live in a lovely flat above, for the last few months with the climate the bar has been deteriorating business has been slow as im sure for anyone, iv tried numerous things to get it back on top but its still just not enough.
we got hit hard last year as the owners (a couple) broke up and i was having to manage the bar in the middle of feuding owners,customers didnt react to well as they were put in the middle and almost made to choose, this is my first bar iv worked in the industry a while and was given an opportunity im very grateful for, but after recieving no real training and having to teach myself im struggling to cope with just keeping things running the previous manager ran the bar into the red and iv spent the last year picking things up and dealing with additional issues left from her, i love my job but feel at risk of losing everything iv worked for and my home, i feel like there is no way out, my financial situation has left me without the option to just leave as i cannot afford anywhere to live, the hardest thing is i feel like iv failed. i also don’t want to let people down and im just feeling a little lost as to what to do. im struggling to motivate myself anymore and thats not the person i am, if i want something i will work to the bone until i get it.
i know that theres many more worse off and feel selfish for thinking this way i just need a little direction.
Thank youMay 11, 2013 at 8:00 pm #35463RubenParticipant
You are not being selfish, nor ungrateful. It’s perfectly acceptable to have these thoughts. You are going through a rough time. Unfortunately that’s comes with being alive.
But what’s great about you, and what I find so amazingly inspiring, is that where others would have let this difficult time thrust them into a state of inactivity, you continue to press on. You are going through this difficult time and you, not only have your mind in the right place by remembering what you have to be thankful for, but you are also consistently trying to resolve the issues within your job. Your dedication is truly remarkable.
I’m not too familiar with finance, so I can’t really offer any direction in that area, but one thing I know for sure is that you have not failed. People fail when they come face-to-face with an obstacle and they just stare at it and say, “well, time to give up”, but you come face-to-face with an obstacle and you think of how to get around it, over it, through it because that’s who you are. You are someone who succeeds because you know what you want. Your desire isn’t some fickle idea floating about. It’s a tangible goal that you know you can accomplish because you are you. Simple as that.
I know you have done this already, but keep on trying to brainstorm on a new solution, a new idea, a new method that could possibly work. Try to learn from other people’s successes and mistakes in order to perfect your bar. And remember that you aren’t alone. You have your co-workers and friends to aid you, and if not that, then you have a loving fiancé to help you. One of the great things about marriage is that it teaches you that you are on a team and to depend on someone other than yourself.
I honestly, genuinely, whole-heartedly believe you can resolve the problem. There are people out there who wouldn’t be able to deal with what you are going through and you are definitely one of the few among us who can overcome this.
What you’re going through is like when one goes through a tunnel. It’s dark for a while, but if you keep walking you will get to the light on the other side. Just keep walking Natalie, and everything will turn out alright.
I would wish you good luck, but you don’t need it.