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I really need help asap from this overthinking

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  • #386954
    Felix
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I desperately need help right now.

    So yesterday some of my friends posted a pic of our friends reunion… in that pic i look so short… on my right side is a girl who is the same height as me and on the left side is a guy who is taller than me by 15cm.
    I feel so broken when they posted it, i’ve been covering my height for my entire life… and this time i failed and it’s so messed up. People in social media never notice my short height as i always choose the right angle and spot. And the friend who posted that pic has many of my mutuals on social media.

    I’ve ruined myself because of their posts….

    I cant stop thinking about it, my friends always keep posting me pics that will cause my low self esteem… i know i should find ways to increase my self esteem but it isnt helping….

    Even my mom said to me regarding that post, why do u look small there, almost like a girl…. U need to eat more… It’s because of that guy who’s way taller than me and also most girls in that pic are the same height as me as they use heels.

    Today i’m really frustrated that i try slapping my head, punching the floor with my hands…. I even screamed of frustration.

    I’m so sad and frustrated, i bet no one understands how i’m so struggled with this situation.

    #386958
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    Ever since you first posted in July 2019 and all the way to now, I read all of your 25 threads and I communicated with you at length in the past. I also read, over time, the 11 pages of your most recent thread (your posts and the replies that you received).

    I understand that it helps you to feel better for a short time when you  type away your frustrations into the computer screen, and it helps you to feel better for a short time when you receive replies that you like. But although suggestions for help you beyond the temporary-feel-better have been offered to you, you accepted none. The core problems that often make you feel bad remained unchanged ever since your very first thread more than 2 years ago.

    Earlier, when communicating with you, I compared your obsessions to itches that need to be scratched. When I realized that all I was doing when communicating with you was to scratch your itches and nothing more- I stopped communicating with you. I will elaborate on the imagery: in your threads, particularly evident in your still ongoing 11 page thread, this is what’s been happening- (1) you feel itchy and uncomfortable so you present members with your itch: here is my Girl Itch.. here is my Regret Itch.. here is my Height Itch, etc., (2) a member replies, and in doing so, scratching your itch, (3) your itch having been scratched, you feel better and you thank the member for.. scratching your itch, (4) you get itchy again and present members with another itch (Regret and Height are two main itchy themes)…  and on and on it goes. In my mind, I’ve been thinking of your threads as The Itchy and Scratchy Show.

    Your itchiness is your overthinking aka obsessive thinking. I suggested earlier that you see a medical doctor for medical treatment for your obsessive thinking. There are medications that help a lot of people with obsessive thinking, maybe those can help you too.

    I can see the use of psychotherapy for you as well. In psychotherapy, perhaps you can be helped to (1) accept your height as what it is (5’5”), as well as to accept all that you cannot change about yourself and your life, (2) change your false core belief that people are conspiring to make you feel bad for your height, that the world is not against you.. when it is not so, (3) look into the Regret Theme and resolve it, (4) change what is possible for you to change in yourself and in your life.

    I am not interested of course, to return to The Itchy and Scratchy Show. It would make me feel  bad to think of myself as a Scratcher, one who scratches itches of another person.. quite a humiliating task, for me. And so, the above two suggestions (seeing a medical doctor and seeing a psychotherapist) are all I have in mind to suggest to you. These two things can calm your itchiness/ obsessive thinking long-term: wouldn’t that be wonderful…?

    anita

    #386963
    anita
    Participant

    There have been a few typos and such, so I want to re-submit my above post in an improved/edited form:

    Dear Felix:

    Ever since you first posted in July 2019, and all the way to now, I read all of your 25 threads, and I communicated with you at length. I also read the 11 pages of your ongoing other thread: I read your posts and the replies that you received.

    I understand that it helps you to feel better for a short time when you  type away your frustrations into the computer screen, and it helps you to feel better for a short time when you receive replies that you like. But, although suggestions meant to  help you long-term have been offered to you- you accepted none. The core problems that often make you feel badly remain unchanged ever since your very first thread more than 2 years ago.

    Earlier, when I communicated with you, I compared your obsessions to itches that need to be scratched. At one point, when I realized that all I was doing when communicating with you was scratching your itches and nothing more- I stopped communicating with you. I will elaborate on the imagery: in your threads, particularly evident in your still ongoing 11 page thread, this is what’s been happening- (1) you feel itchy and distressed, so you present members with your itch: here is my Girl Itch.. here is my Regret Itch.. here is my Height Itch, etc., (2) a member replies, and in doing so, scratching your itch, (3) your itch having been scratched, you feel better and you thank the member for.. scratching your itch, (4) you get itchy again, and present members with another itch (Regret and Height are two main itchy themes)…  and on and on it goes. In my mind, I’ve been thinking of your threads as The Itchy and Scratchy Show.

    Your itchiness is your overthinking aka obsessive thinking. I suggested earlier that you see a medical doctor for medical treatment for your obsessive thinking. There are medications that help a lot of people with obsessive thinking, maybe those can help you too.

    I can see the use of psychotherapy for you as well. In psychotherapy, perhaps you can be helped to (1) Accept your height as what it is (5’5”), as well as to accept all that you cannot change about yourself and your life, (2) Change your false core belief that people are conspiring to make you feel badly for your height, and for whatever else, and that the world is against you.. when it is not the case, (3) Look into the Regret Theme and resolve it, (4) Change what is possible for you to change, in yourself and in your life.

    I am not interested to return to The Itchy and Scratchy Show: it would make me feel badly to think of myself as.. a Scratcher: one whose (unpaid) job is to scratch another person’s itches.. a humiliating job, in my mind.  And so, the above two suggestions (seeing a medical doctor and seeing a psychotherapist) are all I have in mind for you. These two things can calm your itchiness/ obsessive thinking long-term: wouldn’t that be wonderful…?

    anita

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 6 days ago by anita.
    #386975
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    Is the only way are by seeing a medical doctor and psychotherapist?

    Can’t i solve this by myself?, cause i dont know how my parents will react when they find out i need medications… they might think this issue isnt a really important issue (just me not having a mature mind).

     

    #386979
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    Can’t i solve this by myself?“- no, your 25 threads over 2 years are proof.

    Is the only way are by seeing a medical doctor and psychotherapist?“- yes, first see a reputable medical doctor for a consultation, I hope that the doctor will next send you to a specialist to be evaluated.

    i dont know how my parents will react when they find out i need medications… they might think this issue isnt a really important issue (just me not having a mature mind)“- if your parents can read English, show them your 25 threads, and they may understand that indeed, this issue is an important issue. If they can’t read English, translate all your posts in all your threads for them to read in their language.

    anita

     

     

    #386996
    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    Do u think this overthinking issue i’m experiencing is somewhat related to genetics too? Like it comes from parents?

    #386997
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    You can ask your doctor this question, but regardless of the causes, there are ways to treat obsessive thinking and I hope that you seek and receive appropriate professional treatment.

    anita

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