January 13, 2022 at 1:41 am #391224caroline1234Participant
about two years ago I lived with another girl. I was 20F she was 22F. A few months before I left the flat we didn’t get along with each other very well. She was very need and sometimes a little bit creepy. I remember that I couldn’t stand her but that does never excuse what I’ve done!! In the last two months of living together, I sometimes. went into her room, looked through her clothes, took something, wore it for the day and gave it back in the evening. Without her permission!!! I can’t understand why I’ve done such a horrible thing and I can’t stop thinking about it for a week now and feel so terrible. Since the move did not go so nicely, I simply did not return 2 items of clothing and took them with me. I found them a few months ago and contacted them. I said I might have accidentally taken her off the clothesline and whether I can meet her so I can give her back. How cowardly of me .. I can remember, however, that I still had a piece of clothing from her which I can no longer find or maybe have already given away .. So she did not get it again and I am very sorry. Besides the fact that I simply took her property from her, it burdens me a lot that I didn’t respect her privacy. It’s so weird and gross. I don’t know how to ever forgive myself for that, who would ever want to have something to do with a person who did such terrible things. My boyfriend is the dearest person ever. And he thinks I am too, because I am like that now too. But if he only knew what kind of things I used to do. I don’t think he could love me anymore. And I could understand
I’m thinking about donating some money to charity (standing for the clothes I wasn’t able to give back) but I’m not sure it will help.. Because I have done that terrible thing and nothing could ever change that. It is forever a part of me and I feel so ashamed for that..January 13, 2022 at 5:33 am #391227TommyParticipant
To think about it less and less, maybe volunteering to do something to help others?? Donating money will not chase the thoughts away. But, giving of yourself (volunteering) might give you a better sense of who you are now? It might let you forgive yourself and then move forward?? Or, maybe talking with someone about this will let you have the release you need??January 14, 2022 at 8:48 am #391228AnnetteParticipant
I do understand the way you feel. Every one of us has done things that we aren’t proud of. You have to stop beating up on yourself because your guilt will consume you. Yes, what you did was wrong, but the good thing is that you are no longer that person. That’s something to be proud of! You have to admit to yourself that you are a human who is capable of making mistakes. You can’t change the past, what you’ve done is already done. The best you can do now is to find a way forward. If it makes you feel better you can apologize to your roommate or offer to replace the missing item. But you can’t continue to live each day with the guilt. You have a whole life ahead of you, and you’re not the worst person on earth. We all have skeletons in our closets.