Christy,

I’m sorry it didn’t work out, and applaud your level headedness. Consider that sometimes when we get into relationships, we’re challenged in various ways, which can use up some of our inspiration. Said differently, when we experience the pain of a breakup, it naturally puts a weight on our heart. Then, instead of going out and playing, having a joy of it, we are trying to get back to some place we were, some stable place where the heart was glowing.

However, that place is gone, and we can’t “go back”. Instead, we can let go. Just let go of what you were like, what he was like, and allow yourself to open up to where you are now. For instance, perhaps you drag yourself to spinning classes… trying to be “out there” and trying to “grow yourself” and follow a healthy habit. Whew! What work! Consider back to why you took it in the first place… because its fun? Connecting with others that share a similar desire? Instead of “oh goodness, this feels heavy, but have to do it, want to be fit, want to find some momentum”… consider trying to see around you.

What about them? Your sisters, trying to find the same thing… having fun, feeling good, connecting, keeping each other smiling and growing. What a neat community! When we just relax and play, the growing is a natural result. We don’t have to try to “be healthy”, “keep pushing” and so forth… as we relax into where we are, accept what we feel, then we naturally move toward balance and contentment. You could try sharing compliments, smiles, or hugs… little kindnesses go a long way in growing light, for everyone involved. 🙂

Another common example of this is our meditation practice. When we meditate regularly (any self nurturing activities, really) we feel better, content, happy, refreshed. However, when we think “oh, I need to meditate regularly. I want to be the kind of person that does that, I better keep at it, I want to be healthy”, then momentum drains quickly, feels like a task. If we just let go of that, when we sit down to make a choice, such as watch TV or meditate, meditation just looks more appealing, seems like the better choice, happier.

Finally, consider that when we experience loss, our body goes through waves of emotion. On rainy days, sometimes we just need to cuddle up warmly and be melancholy. If we can breathe through the emotions without too much cycling, its faster to heal, but any type of resting in these times can be highly nurturing to our hearts. Said differently, don’t be afraid, dear sister, its not like the light went out, its just sad, hurt from some experiences. As that heals, the world will sparkle again. Be patient. 🙂

Namaste, may you find your smile.

With warmth,
Matt