Hello Jay 🙂

When you read this I hope that you are able to reach into your heart and soul and be in that special place that I KNOW you have, that brings you all the love, peace, and happiness that you deserve.

First, I hope that you find my response, and Anita’s and everyone else’s as well, to be a safe harbor in your storm where you CAN take a sigh of relief knowing that we do want you to be a part of our life by your reaching out to us, as we want to be a part of yours by embracing our thoughts. I am wondering…what were you feeling, what were your thoughts in general, prior to going to college? Did/do you have support in your ambitions? Were there certain expectations brought about by your family? For many of us the days, weeks, months planning on going to college is often times met with a certain amount of apprehension and uncertainty and this, I believe, is a perfectly natural experience. It can  also be a time of excitement, going forward in the next chapter of your life. On one hand you have apprehension and anxiety while on the other you have excitement. This clash of dichotomies can easily paint a broader picture of uncertainty. When you said, “A lot of my feelings revolve around comparison to people on social media, comparison to my sister,” who is doing the comparison? What is the history of your heartbreak? I think that exploring these questions, and questions that others may have, will be very beneficial in helping you find answers. I most certainly understand how being a 21 year old living at home can be reason for you to feel bad about that. Society has engineered a stigma attached to someone being 21 living at home while going to college. This stigma is not only unfair, but it is not necessary to incorporate that into your life. It is something that is based on what other believe as to how things should be, thus the comparison. How others believe in the regard, is irrelevant. What IS relevant is how YOU believe you should live your life in order for you pursue your aspirations. Allowing yourself to disregard this stigma will allow you to see a huge benefit living at home while going to school at this age. That benefit is seeing how much money you will save by not paying rent somewhere else, unless soupy a minimal rent at home. Still the monetary difference in paying rent at home, if you do, and paying rent for an apartment is HUGE. Not only that, living with other people, i.e. room mates, can prove to be very difficult. It will challenge your patience many times to the point where you may think, I didn’t sign up for this. One never truly knows another until you live together. I have learned that the hard way.

I don’t believe that you are “unbelievably done with everything” because you are not done with you and that is what truly matters. And you are not “unbelievably done with everything” because you are seeking answers for you, by reaching out to us. There is something very powerful in you not being done with you combined with you reaching out to us. When Anita so graciously said “Appear and Uncover,” little did you know that you actually did that by appearing (to us) and uncovered your hurt. You are obviously a beautiful woman and by appearing and uncovering you have allowed such a warm, beautiful soul with a huge heart to reach out.

Please consider my questions though. I think the answers will be key in helping you. I know for a fact, that I am going on with my day, wondering how you are doing. I hope that by getting back to me, to us, I will come to know that you are doing just fine.

Pearce