Okay, so I broke up with my gf and we essentially made it to 2 years. That was my first long relationship but I had to let go because I was starting to get urges and respected her too much to cheat on her. I still believe I am young and felt like I haven’t had a chance to explore. So even though we had a great time, i felt like it was the best thing to do. I respected her to much to cheat on her and that’s not how I function.

So it took me awhile or not but i still think I am finding myself. Recently my ex girlfriend who lives in Japan contacted me and she seems like a happier person. Her and I didnt have much of a chance to continue our relationship since it was long distance and it was short-lived. I always felt like we could have been more. I always thought of her. How I met her though was not common for me. I met her on my trip to Japan. Basically she had a long distance relationship with a person from England. We started talking and eventually we became a couple. I stay away from people in relationships because I wouldn’t want the same thing happening to me. At the time, she was going through a tough time and hated her job and was so stressed that her hair was falling out. And so she cheated with her bf with me and eventually we became a couple. I also violated her relationship. Long story short, we didn’t work out and she went to her boyfriend from England, who she ended the relationship 4 months ago. Basically she went out with her bf for 2+ years as well. So we started talking all of a sudden (Me and my previous gf had ended the relationship 2 and a half months ago when this happened). And it was great! I enjoyed talking to her, she had this new aura about her, like she was a new person. I have been thinking this could turn into something more, that 2nd chance. We have also been skyping but one day she said she enjoyed being single for right now. And then she told me did couchsurfing because she really enjoyed learning about new cultures, which I totally get. But I cant hide the fact that she may be a promiscuous girl because she slept with me when we she had a bf. Now, I know she was stressed and was going through a very difficult time so I can empathize and feel with her. So i gave her the benefit of the doubt. But as soon as she was telling me that she was hanging out with the people she hosted, girls and most importantly, guys included, I started doubting the possibility of getting back together. She also said some of the guys will live in her city. I am a very anxious person, so I stress about little things and definitely the unknown. Like things that are out of my control and can only wonder about.

I dunno what is going through her mind. I have comfronted her about this, about the possibility of guys in these hosting situations trying to sleep with her. She kind of brushed it off and said it hadn’t happened. But I admit, Japanese women are known to be submissive so it worries me. (This is a generalization that isnt true for everyone) At the same, I realize she is SINGLE, so I have no right to control or even think about giving her advice. It’s her life! But I just feel like if we do go the next step, I want to be sure that she isn’t partcipating in promiscuous behavior and having sex with random guys. I know I am my worst enemy because I OVERTHINK EVERYTHING. So it is starting to give me anxiety. I have been thinking about distancing myself, but everytime I try to do it, I can’t, I feel like this is the 2nd chance that we could possibly have. I also have to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was very down at the time she cheated on her boyfriend with me. I also shouldn’t have crossed those bounds but I met her, and I am glad I was able to meet her. But that means she maybe just cheated because her life sucked at the time. There’s a big possibility of that. I just dont want to not trust her, I wanna believe in her. Right now my trust in her is fading. So what should I do? Confront her? What do you guys recommend i do? Sorry for the brain dump and any input is greatly appreciated it. THANK YOU!