Sorry for the misspelling, wish you can edit your posts on here.

When I told my ex best friend my feelings for her the day before our high school graduation. I also came out to her as bisexual (I was very unsure of my sexuality at that time of my life). She took in what i’ve told her, shocked and unexpected. Her only response was to give me her listening ear and just had nothing to say.

I began to notice her treating me differently than she did to our other friends. As in being flirtatious and teasing which caused me to wonder why her actions changed. I also noticed she was jealous of others who were close to me, men and women. She’ll never talk to me about this when I address this to her. She kept quiet or just refused to give me a straight answer. She also was physically close to me, never respected my personal space.

My ex also would want me to tag along with her to any event or gathering with her but will treat me like I was never there. She’ll reject my inventions and only spend time with me when it is her own  convenient. She would rather do things what SHE wanted to do. If it doesnt benefit her then she’ll pass it and do whatever she likes.

When she is in need of a friend I was there for her but whenever I needed her she wasn’t there for me. Basically she was selfish and a narcissist. It was narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse and love to take control over me. She loved to be physical to me as in play fight with me to get me to do what she wanted me to do. It wouldn’t surprise me if she was into BDSM. She’s asexual.

I have visited AVEN 4 years go, it was the site that helped me understand my sexuality. And I made a online friend on that site. We still online friends.

My current friend is who I call my close best friend. She means alot to me, it’s been a struggle everyday that I want to actually see her in person. I’m bored of texting and there are times we haven’t much to say to each other cause well we have talked daily last year and this year as well. Now its been less but thats ok cause we do have our own separate lives. She will always be in my heart, i do need to live my life here and seek friendships. I dont have a high paying job but i work very hard to save money so i can travel other places and maybe go to local events but as of now i just been working and cant stop thinking about my new friend.

I’ve read the posts you and Scott said on the form Scott posted titled Relationship Anxiety Cycle, his post caught my attention because I was like this and still am doing the same cycle he put himself in. I have done the same cycle with my ex best friend years ago way before social media. I have realized (when I befriended my current best friend) that she and I grew attach to each other due to the past abuse caused by our own exes. in her case it was her abusive boyfriend and to me it was my first love and first heartbreak with my childhood friend. My current best friend was sexually assulted at age 13 and try to commit sufficed a few times. she later dated a abusier that tried to get her pregnant, he controlled her and mainlipuated her as well. I can never relate the pain she been through yet she told me that I should have never be treated the way my ex best friend treated me. I just never understood why she felt I was treated horribly when she in fact went through hell at a very young age.

I can see now, why she grew attach to me so quickly and afraid to lose me. She always was so apologetic to me if she forgot to reply to my message (it only been a day pass) or when she made me nervous when she gave me that “hope” that we could have a relationship in the future. She was so willing to let me know she will never hurt me. When we talk she tells me about her life in full detail, she explains herself in a more of a victim type of person in whatever situation she is in. that I’ll give her sympathy and worry about her that I end up comforting her. it became a addiction for me to wanting to know her well being and about her life. She likes my attention. US both do this to each other. This is why I wanted to take a step back, we need to care for our own selves first. But we still have each other close even though there is a ocean between us. Usually she texts first more than I text her, now days we hardly text much. She is out of work and stays at home due to a illness she is caring for before she goes back to work. I give her space but as I said before she is always on my mind and I do check in on her.

About my relationship with my family, I am close with my parents and my older three sisters. I was very close to my friends I grew up with that included my ex best friend. my attachment to people started with my family and my childhood friends. this explains why I am so close to my new best friend cause after breaking up my friendship with my ex best friend, my new friend and I enter each others lives quickly and grew attach to each other.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Cloud.

I have no trust issues within my family, I am emotionally attached to my family and the friends I grew up with. The people in my life now  that I am only close to is my family, my  best friend that I call my sister and my new life current friend