In mid-July I met a guy which I immediately connected with, and I know he felt the same. Everything was going so well between us, we were both so happy to have met each other and had already told each other that we liked one another, when 2 weeks into us dating, something terrible happened in his life.

His ex committed suicide and he happened to be one of the first to notice this had happened, i.e. saw it with his own eyes. Their relationship was over since more than a year ago, but still, this has caused him severe feelings of guilt, sorrow etc. At first he was still okey with seeing me, he told me immediately when this happened and I’ve really been there for him. I had to travel just 2 days after this and was away for 20 days, but we texted each other every day and it felt like nothing had changed between us, though of course he was talking about this a bit and telling me things weren’t all well with him. Then I came back and it felt okey at first, but after her funeral, which took place a week after my homecoming, he started to get more and more hard to reach, and after some weeks of him postponing seeing me, he finally found the courage to realise for himself, and tell me, that he is not ready right now because of how he feels atm, but that it has absolutely nothing to do with me and how he feels about me. He’s just numb in the feelings department due to the trauma and he doesn’t know how to change that…

I trust him loads and he has told me so many beautiful things about what a great person he thinks I am, how beautiful I am, how he hates that he can’t give me all he wants to give me right now. I know he really really likes me and that he feels bad about not being the person he would like to be towards me right now, disappointing me etc. And I really do like him.

So well since mid-September our thing has been put on ice and we haven’t seen each other since late August. He has told me he understands if I can’t wait for him, that I shouldn’t… but at the same time he says we can see what happens after he gets better, if I would still be open for it then. And I would, because I would never judge him on this, knowing the trauma he has been through…

So I’ve told him I will wait, and for me waiting can’t mean anything else than WAITING, i.e. not seeing anyone else meanwhile, but I’m so afraid to do so. What if I wait & he’ll always associate me with this and can never fall in love with me? I’ve waited before only to be rejected in the end…

What should I do to handle this situation? I try to text him every now and then to show him I care, not asking questions, just saying I think about him and hope he’s OK etc. and he seems to be happy to get these messages, replies with questions but our conversations remain short and I always have to initiate them… Sometimes I want to text him to say I miss him or long for him, or even suggest him to come over, but stop myself thinking it will remind him on how I want something he can’t give me atm, causing him more guilt.

PLEASE GIVE ME GUIDANCE OF ANY KIND, I feel myself so lost in this situation