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I'm not lost im just too entitled

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #339570

    xlea
    Participant

    Hello, yes i have lost my purpose in life. I’m sure many people have.

    In summary, I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Fortunately enough the examination board allowed me to split my examinations. Allowing me to take half the previous year, the other half this year. I did average for the first half, not badly. Now I stay at home everyday studying for my examinations to enter university.

    With the new virus COVID i refuse to leave the house because of my anxiety. I stay at home without any exercise. I constantly contemplate about my friends moving ahead in life. I contemplate my future and fear having to start university in the future because of my anxiety. I also have a strange habit of reminiscing toxic relationships i had in the past year. I have cut of all social communication except with my family. (FYI i am normally a very social animal) I dont want to do anything, but I still do study. I am bored and i cant sleep at night.

    I do want to go out and meet with my friends, but social connections give me anxiety and Im afraid to leave the house. I await my daunting examinations in a few months.

    Im bored and I question why i am in this state. (But i know i caused myself to be in this state.)

    But i have also tried somethings, I try to motivate myself, start new routines, help keep the house in order. But you know, I just feel like a rock. I dont know how to explain. In fact i dont know why i am typing this at all.

    i dont know what i wish to hear from the person reading this. i probably know everything i should do, i think i dont care about what my life will become because im too entitled and i dont care.  ??????????

    #339574

    anita
    Participant

    Dear xlea:

    This is some of what you shared in your three threads so far:

    June 2018: “Help, somethings wrong with me… I am stressed.. eating excessively, panic attacks, having headaches and giddiness. But the strangest thing of all, wanting to cry but I can’t or feeling emotional and crying and then suddenly not feeling anything at all. It is as if my emotions are cut off.. I am an extremely emotional person, so having my emotions cut off so abruptly, is very strange… Is something wrong with me? Is this normal? Please help, I feel like I am going insane”.

    Nov 2018: “My big exams have finished recently but there are many more projects that I have to work on… Just recently, this girl confessed to me… I cried and the only phrase that kept repeating in my head was, ‘I am worthless’.. All the self- degrading thoughts clouded my mind and I just kept crying… made me feel I was out of my mind. My chest was tight and it felt horrendous…My social life and studies from my point of view has not been going the best. ..anything that has to do with liking someone romantically puts me in a really depressed state. I really don;t understand why. I have had no bad dating experience or witnessed bad dating experiences… who am i? I am really confused”.

    Feb 2020: “I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety…Now I stay at home everyday studying for my examinations to enter university.With the new virus COVID I refuse to leave the house because of my anxiety. I stay at home without any exercise. I constantly contemplate about my friends moving ahead in life. I contemplate my future and fear having to start university.. I have cut of all social communication except with my family…I still do study. I am bored and I cant sleep at night.. I await my daunting examinations in a few months”.

    My input: you’ve been suffering from anxiety for a long, long time. Anxiety exhausts the brain and body and after too much time with too much anxiety, a person disassociates at times (emotions being cut off), and feels lots of distress a whole lot of the time, eventually collapsing into depression.

    You were diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Following a diagnosis by a professional, the diagnosing professional should come up with a treatment plan that includes counseling and maybe psychiatric medications. A person should not be diagnosed with a treatable illness or disorder and then left to fend for himself. There needs to be a treatment plan.

    Has there been a treatment plan that was offered to you?

    anita

     

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