- This topic has 10 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
April 7, 2013 at 9:18 am #31916AnonymousInactive
When we treat ourselves as well as we treat others, we notice. It may even feel a little odd sometimes.
I’m a tad forgetful. And sometimes I’m a little hard on myself when I forget things. I just remember to be discerning instead of judging whenever I forget things.
I think things like, “Oh, I forgot to [fill in the blank]. I’ll do it now.” Instead of things like, “Why do I always forget things? I’m so [fill in the blank]!”
I remember to notice what is really happening (I discern) and simply be compassionate, kind and loving to myself, just as I would be with others.
In what ways do you show compassion to yourself?April 10, 2013 at 6:18 am #33374shaunaParticipant
Over the weekend I had some triggers that brought up pain from a recent loss. ( December ) I understand and acknowledge that this ‘loss’ is actually a blessing in disguise, but the sadness crept in and I found myself living in the past, wishing things had turned out different … wishing I could get back some part of what was.
Realizing the truth of the situation, I sat on my bedroom floor last night, my arms curled around my legs and I prayed. I find praying to God a good way to show compassion to myself. I also reasoned with myself in a loving way, like I was talking to a dear friend. I told myself that it’s okay to remember. It’s okay to miss someone. It’s okay that certain triggers set me off and to know that if that happens in the future, I’ll handle it better. I rubbed my arms and gave myself a big hug, then got up and stood in front of mirror. Closing my eyes for a moment so I could feel my team of benevolent Beings who surround me every moment of every day … I opened my eyes, looked directly into them in the mirror and told myself how much I love myself. I told myself that I know that little girl inside was hurt, and that everything happens for a reason and that we … her and I … were going to be okay. I told myself how wonderful I am and how much love fills my heart. I told myself I am beautiful and loving and that it’s his loss he’s no longer a recipient of my love.
I find mirror work to be a powerful tool of self-compassion. In fact, I have 5 daily goals and mirror work is one of them and last evening I used that tool to my fullest ability. I flooded my mind, heart and soul with an abundance of positive affirmations about myself.
Today … well today I feel great! I am grateful for everything that happens in my life. Good and bad.April 12, 2013 at 6:36 pm #33784MelParticipant
Just as you noted, Midge, I try to keep in mind how I would relate if I were giving advice to a dear friend if they were in my situation — you would never say to someone else some of the things we tend to say to ourselves sometimes.April 19, 2013 at 7:32 pm #34097AnonymousInactive
Shauna, your story of self compassion is heartfelt. Comforting ourselves, much as we comfort others in times of sadness, is truly kind and loving. Your practice in connecting with yourself using a mirror is inspiring. Many thanks.April 19, 2013 at 7:34 pm #34098AnonymousInactive
Yes, being our own dearest friend is compassionate and loving.May 3, 2013 at 3:40 am #35088BobParticipant
To be quite honest, this is an area of weakness for me. It seems like every spare moment in my day is taken up by my willingness and pro-active spirit to do something for some one else. It has become as natural for me to do this as putting on a pair of shoes each day. Much like a water-wheel I only go in one direction and that is focusing in on the needs of others.
Have never given much thought to what my own personal needs are. My early childhood days contain only a speckle of happiness here and there; later on I would discover that these gaps or holes in my emotional life would eventually fill up with something. With no real direction or role model to follow, I did not always make good choices. I would go to bed each evening with my two closest friends: Sister Rejection and my Brother Pain and in the morning the three of us would rise up and begin our day.
Somewhere along the road I was traveling in my life I came to a bitter dead end and I had to make a decision between good or bad. Was I going to become a person who by any means necessary take from others or was I going to become someone who would give without question to others in need. When presented with the question of giving, most people equate this with only money and yest that is a marvelous gift. But even now I feel that giving is more than just money, we can give of ourself to others.
My wife says I am truly innocent and a bit too trusting of others. Perhaps, she is correct.May 6, 2013 at 1:59 pm #35187ChristinaParticipant
I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling, without judgment, then I remind myself “It’s ok. You’re allowed to feel this way. I still love you and care for you.” For me, being compassionate to other people has never been an issue but I’ve never been good to myself. This has been an ongoing daily, moment by moment journey, where I’m slowly becoming aware of the way I speak to myself and working to change it.June 21, 2013 at 1:54 pm #37278AnonymousInactive
Being of service to others is truly gratifying for both the giver and the receiver, yet when we sacrifice ourselves just to help others (out of obligation, approval-seeking, guilt, etc.), the giving/receiving gift (a happy exchange for both) can lose its value and worth in our lives.
Giving from ourselves when we truly want to give to others brings such happiness. So too does giving to ourselves. I practice being both a giver and a receiver of my time, energy, compassion, kindness, and love. It’s a practice. And it’s a happy one.
May you give and receive happily.June 21, 2013 at 2:03 pm #37279AnonymousInactive
I am traveling right along with you on this daily, moment by moment journey. Sometimes I simply remember that our fleeting, judgmental thoughts, each and every one of them, are heard by just ourselves. Others hear our spoken words after we’ve discerned and let go of other thoughts. I practice speaking kindly. I practice thinking kindly too.
May we all keep kind thoughts.June 24, 2013 at 4:55 am #37404DeniseParticipant
I always used to want to get everything perfect first time; even if it was something i’ve never done before. Nowadays, I remind myself often that it’s ok to make mistakes and get things wrong.June 24, 2013 at 12:57 pm #37417AnonymousInactive
I appreciate this comment, Denise. I too practice accepting my limited human being-ness and embracing my mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. What a great example of being kind to and gentle with ourselves.