Thank you Anita. Yes the grandchildren are my number one priority. They are the only reason I haven’t just walked away. I’ve decided to have absolutely nothing else to do with his kids. Luckily two of them live out of state. Thank you again for your kind words.

Well good news. My husband has FINALLY confronted 2 of his children so far. I am so happy and proud of him. I just hope this is not a one time thing. Thank you for listening.

My husband’s family….nightmare. The first thing his mother ever said when she met me was that I was heavy with fat thighs, and that she didn’t approve of how I wear jeans and a tshirt most of the time. Also, my hair is a mess. Yet she copped an attitude when I didn’t go out of my way to hang out with her. Why would I? This was 2002. Flash forward a dozen years, and both of my husband’s siblings have disowned her. She sent her dog here to be cared for (I am an animal lover, involved in rescue, she knows I will put aside my feelings for her in that instance). The poor thing was emaciated, had been ill and force fed for six months and never taken to the vet so I came to find out. MIL was off for a tropical cruise and I’m now caring for her sweet dog who I wind up at the vet with, and she is is in full-on end stage kidney failure. Long story short, the kindest thing to do was let the dog go peacefully but the vet needed her permission, and she claimed she couldn’t call while on ship. Well, we let the sweet girl go, at that point, it’s cruel not to, and a text to this evil woman that it had been done and voila! She somehow manages to call. She got a piece of my mind that ended with my telling her she is DEAD TO ME and I hung up. Hub felt the same but within 24 hours he was back kissing her behind like nothing because “she is my mother” he said.

He has allowed her, for years, to both treat me as though I don’t exist, and treat me like I’m a plague on her life. She has gone so far as to conveniently arrange for her friends’ single daughters to visit when he visits – and I don’t go obviously. He says nothing.

We have needed financial help from time to time – I have asked my mom every time. He says his mom doesn’t have it. No, he just won’t ask her. He calls her every Thursday on his way home from work, and NEVER talks to her in front of me. Swears he has asked her for help but not in front of me and he gets ugly when I say that.

If he allows his family to disrespect me, then he is disrespecting me. He doesn’t see this. He doesn’t see that he has, over time, destroyed this marriage. It’s a joke, a farce, paper only. And the reason I can’t leave is because I have severe health issues that prevent me working full time to support myself and my kids.

I live in a daily nightmare.

Dear kylie:

You wrote that you have severe health issues that prevent you working and supporting your children. You mean, otherwise, you would be getting a divorce, correct?

If you got a divorce, wouldn’t he be required to support his/your kids (child support) and you (spousal support)?

anita

Dear kylie:

Re-reading your earlier post here, it seems like your husband took the role of “the good son” while his two siblings cut contact with their mother. So his loyalty is to his mother, showing her that, unlike his siblings, he is a …good boy. And so, he allows her to mistreat you. Am I correct?

Is she, your mother-in-law allowed in your home? Is it possible for you to not see her or talk to her at all?

anita

My husband parents does not like me. They keep tell my husband he just needs to divorce me and find someone else. We have been married for 3 years and have a child. His parents don’t even come down to see their grandchild. I am at my wits I don’t know what else to do. They dont even like my side of the family. And they are always talk bad about me. Like I’m not good enough for him. They say he need to divorce me and find someone else. And he never backs me up on things. I just need help

I am in a similar situation, married for 28 years but mine is much more complex than the stories read here. We went for many counselling sessions….too many to mention and that still did not resolve anything.  I do not know my husband, his deceit and what his upbringing was like because I was always cut short when asked about his life before marriage.  His behaviour  is so far fetched than he cannot differentiate between normal and abnormal behaviour.  He flirts with women all the time and thinks nothing wrong of it.  I have cut all ties with his side of the family and feel so much lighter in my heart.  I have taken my focus off him husband and involved myself with church ministry which is more fulfilling to me.  My husband does not understand boundaries and I assume the same applies to your relationship