July 30, 2014 at 12:39 pm #62234JordanParticipant
I’m at a bit of a dilemma. Here is the start:
I went to university for civil engineering. When I was young I had no idea what to do, but knew I was good at math and engineers make good money, so I based the decision solely on those factors. I was never really interested in my studies, but thought “maybe it will be better when I work.” Afterwards I worked for 1.5 years and found it absolutely tedious and not what I expected. Instead I thought going to graduate school may be better- I could work towards a Ph.D and become a professor or work in R&D. At first it seemed interesting, but after a little over a year in my program I have become to despise it. I have poor relations with my colleagues, little interest in my project, and have not made any significant progress in over 3 months. Every morning I wake up feeling dread, force myself to work on my project, and then count down the hours until 5pm (I randomly chose this as a good time to stop). I yearn for a lifestyle where I wake up excited for the day and not having to “force” myself to work. I’ve become a bit depressed in the last few months and feel stuck. I want to drop everything and just live a simple life.
I’m considering another change. I’ve recently gotten into writing fiction, I love to cook, and have been doing yoga for a while. I’ve considered maybe teaching yoga part time, or opening up a coffee shop, or writing more (and hopefully make money). I’ve also tutored math and assisted teaching martial arts, and really enjoy teaching and helping others out. And I get excited when I think about these things. Is this my inner voice telling me to drop everything and just try something new, or am I just stuck for the moment?
I really would like to try something different, but I’ve already invested ~7 years into my current path and would feel it a waste if I abandoned it. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and gotten out?
ThanksJuly 30, 2014 at 8:43 pm #62266p22Participant
Don’t feel you are a waste. I graduated in 2011 and have wasted three years of my life… I have worked on and off but never found stable employment. My family wants me to go back to school and get stable career but I cannot somehow convince because I am still looking for what I really like. I do have potential to do lot of things but I am my own enemy and have been stuck and cannot find an escape..
But I try to volunteer and do different thingss.. I would say listen to your inner voice and keep going:)July 31, 2014 at 3:52 am #62306@Jasmine-3Participant
Hi Jordan @Jaigon
Your heart is obviously not in the current role.
Where do you see yourself ? Restart something which takes fancy and excites your inner being and have an awesome next 30-40 years experimenting or worry about wasting the last 7 years and continue the struggle for the next 30-40 years in fear ? Do we actually ever waste any skills in life ? Cant we use the skills we have learnt in some other novel ways ?
It is a rather simple choice but one, which requires courage. Have the courage to change as you see fit. A simple life is the ultimate life as you can go with the natural flow and really live in the moment. Who has seen tomo ? BUT BUT we also need money for our basic survival needs. If you can meet your basic needs, you are free to do anything in this world for as long as you want 🙂 It is your life to live and explore.
JasmineJuly 31, 2014 at 4:54 am #62307AnonymousInactive
Are you giving your 100% where you are right now?
We envision ourselves in the future with a fancy job, which will be interesting, challenging and will make good money. But once we are on the path, we do not put any effort to make it interesting or challenging, it just becomes a means to an end to earn good money and we end up getting bored. Every job becomes boring/mundane, even doctors see sick patient everyday, it is when they develop people connection and treat there patients not diseases, they then enjoy and love there job more than ever.
I hated my current job and colleagues at the beginning, I despised there work-culture and unprofessional attitude. But when I switched my mind and started loving my job, as a way to connect with people and serve them with my skills and knowledge, I became the happiest person at work and my colleagues attitude and behavior did not bother me at all. Also, things did open up for future adventures.
I would suggest
1. Reach out to your colleagues, be patient, nice and friendly, they will imitate your behavior.
2. Take genuine interest in your project, love it with your heart, it will love you back.
3. You took up the program, thinking about good money. So, be it, take up the challenge and motivate yourself to reach that goal.
4. In PHD programs, you get the chance to assist your professors/tutors with there classes. So, reach out and help.
5. You are in dire need of connecting with people and helping them out, so create it.
6. Go out and immerse in nature, you will definitely get your answer.
7. Never quit before giving your 100% to any scenarios.
8. You have skills, use it and serve.
9. Above all be patient and kind to yourself, everything takes time to blossom.
If all fails, then follow your heart with head held up high, that you gave your 100% to the present scenario and it did not work out. Nothing was wasted, you tried and tested. Good luck for life.July 31, 2014 at 5:02 am #62308OneSoulParticipant
I think you did not waste any time at that moment you were thinking what to do and you went for it but then you found out that it did not make you happy in what you were doing. That experience was to find out that you had to do something else. And it does not matter if it takes you one year or five years now you know. Mostly people do not follow their heart and focus on jobs which give them a lot of income but that job you have to do a long time of your life and if you are not happy in it then what is the use of money then? Sure to fulfill your basic needs but your happiness is lost in that. I think just first listen to your heart what it says focus on one thing at a time and then go for it. Taking the first step is the most hardest. The action that follows you have to take otherwise you will be stuck again. Promise yourself first that you will do it and worry about it later. All beginnings in every field are difficult. In your head there are running a lot of thoughts. Just pick the thing you like the most and then take action. Make a good business plan and see what you need to reach your goal. Give it some time cause a business needs clients. First you have to invest to get something in return. If you put all your heart in to it then it will work for sure. Don’t start 10 things at a time you will loose your focus and won’t have time to properly start a good business. Well I hope you succeed in whatever you will do.
With warm regards,