Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Internal Conflict about a goal.
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July 10, 2013 at 5:07 pm #38367TeraParticipant
I am having somewhat of an internal conflict. I am working on a project which is part of larger goal which is part of a dream job I want to fulfill. This project itself requires a lot of mental focus, planning, and just plain hard work. I generally don’t mind the work involved. In fact I enjoy knowing I am doing something productive, while at the same time accomplishing what has to be done. However I am having some internal conflicts about what I am doing.
As I get focused on the details of planning, researching, and putting it all together, I start to fear that my dream will not be so wonderful. I know it seems silly to think about it, but I am afraid of getting too focused on the details and forgetting why I started to begin with. In other words I want to be practical and smart about this but not lose the magic of my dream. I know this is just part of the things that have to be done, but I feel like if I don’t deal with these feelings I won’t be able to act.
Again, while I enjoy the planning, staging, and nitty gritty stuff, it’s just a different state of mind then the simple childlike dream that makes me feel good. Does this make sense? Any ideas?
July 10, 2013 at 11:36 pm #38380MegParticipantHello Tera,
Yes this makes total sense and I think everyone with a large goal faces this same challenge. Daydreaming about the finalized project is so much better than the nitty gritty, but it’s the nitty gritty that’ll get the daydream brought into physicality.
My idea is try to make time each day for both the details and the dreaming. Perhaps do some quiet time visualization before and after working on the details, to help you get focused and stay on track with your goals. Maybe even a 5 minute daydream refresh halfway through the day.
It’ll be so worth it in the long run, keep on truckin’! 🙂
July 11, 2013 at 6:54 am #38405MattParticipantTera,
What a wonderful observation! Sometimes we get so focused in our mind that we lose some of the energy of creativity that fuels us. It reminds me of a garden hose, where we put our thumb on the end to make it squirt farther, but if we put too much thumb into it, it stops the flow of water or explodes all over us.
In terms of mindful practices, it is often described as holding a bird in our hand. We want to hold it tight enough that it doesn’t fly away, but not so tight that we crush it. Said differently, your dream is the fuel of the vision, and your actions, focus and dedication are what realize that dream.
One thing we can do is take a few moments and brainstorm our priorities. Then take a look at them, do they still resonate with the dream? If they have become material, or relate too closely to project deadlines and don’t sparkle with the energy of the dream, you have perhaps crushed the bird and need some time to self-nurture. If they still sparkle with your inner desires, then you’re doing fine and simply haven’t been opening to the joy of the steps of the dream.
Remember that the sun on the horizon is only a carrot to lead us down the path. The joy, realization and contentment are available at every step. Said differently, the path is the destination, and when we forget that we cut ourselves off from the energy of reality. This is the beauty and tragedy of being a combination of heavenly and earthly beings… it becomes a balance between joy, mindfulness, creativity and bills, deadlines, and obligations. With each one, we can breathe mindfully.
Its like accepting the rules of a game that we play with our friends and children. There are rules, and we follow them, but it is in the playing that the fun happens, not in the winning or losing.
With warmth,
MattJuly 11, 2013 at 12:03 pm #38430TeraParticipantThank you Meg,
So basically I can still have my dream but just need to separate work time from day dream time. This is extremely helpful. I’ll start doing that and see what happens. Thank you very much.
Thank you Matt
I am really trying to live into my dream job as a lofty minded artist, which is a role I want to live and portray, but in order to do that I first have to secretly play the role of accountant, spy, strategist, negotiator, makeup artist, and CEO. Each task requires me to turn on and off different states of mind. I want that carrot so much I am willing to detach from my own ego.. That’s why I am having some of this conflict. Hopefully Meg’s idea will help me stay focused.
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