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Internet debate gone horribly wrong – trauma, ruined conscience

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Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 46 total)
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  • #101393
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    I don’t know what specifically you are apologizing for but I hope you apologize only for things you did that you believe were wrong and not so to make peace at any cost. Be true to yourself. Don’t apologize for what you believe is true and right and just. Stand up for your beliefs (as long as you are not abusive).

    anita

    #101397
    Mete
    Participant

    That is a very solid piece of advise, thanks. There was some stuff there that was not okay and was ill-thought out in general. You could interpret my second post as me saying I do not want a single muslim in Europe. Which I’m 100% sure I never fully believed for a second, but I said it anyway. There was a ‘it’s best for everyone because this will only get worse’ aspect to it but that was still incredibly hamfisted and I’m proud to say I’ve gone back on that. I will readily admit I had to come to have a negative view of the religion and muslims in general – which isn’t necessarily uncommon if polls are to believed. I’ve seen ones claiming a majority of people in some European countries share that view, while in others it’s only along the lines of one fourth. Still, that was not the way to handle it, and it’s what I’m apologizing for for the most part. I’ll get back to this eventually and figure out what I actually believe but for now I’ll be glad to focus my attention on completely different things.

    #101399
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    I understand. I sure hope you put all that behind you and move on to “completely different things”-

    Those other things, what are they? What are your goals, dreams..?

    anita

    #101400
    Mete
    Participant

    Right now I’m just going to get on with interests I had before all of this. Video games and music are two of my hobbies but I’ve had trouble with immersion obviously and had a long period when I couldn’t enjoy either properly. Beyond that, take care of my responsibilities (school, work, my own health) and get hang of a routine.

    #101401
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    What is your very favorite video game?

    anita

    #101402
    Mete
    Participant

    Hmm. That would be Jet Set Radio Future. It’s a skating platformer game with great music that came with the Xbox I got as a kid and played through countless times. I’m currently hoping the publisher gives it an HD rerelease on the PC because it definitely deserves that treatment. These days I’m more of a PC gamer (it’s only natural for an information technology student) and I’m currently replaying a game called Vampire the Masquerade – Bloodlines. It’s an excellent, immersive vampire role playing game. Kind of those vampire TV shows that teenage girls love, except for roleplaying nerds, haha.

    Music wise, I’m mostly a metal and electronic music kind of guy. I really enjoy the kind of adrenaline boost metal music gives you – hop on the bike in the morning, put your buds on and listen to a very fast track and you won’t be tired anymore by the time you reach school.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Mete.
    #101404
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    Vampire the Masquerade: “The player assigns their character to one of several vampire clans—each with unique powers, customize their combat and dialog abilities and progress through Bloodlines with violent and nonviolent methods… The player is able to complete side missions away from the primary storyline by moving freely between the available hubs: Santa Monica, Hollywood, downtown Los Angeles, and Chinatown.”

    How interesting. I wonder what are the unique powers are and what “dialog abilities” means. And I also wonder how clear and accurate the scenes of Santa Monica are (Used to live there).

    Bed time for me… take care of yourself.

    anita

    #101406
    Mete
    Participant

    The powers use blood and act as spells, basically. Turn you invisible, turn enemies insane, so on. The dialog abilities allow you to persuade, seduce or outright force your will through when dealing with various people in the game world. I don’t think Santa Monica in the game is anything like it is in the real world – it is quite small.

    Goodnight. I will try to get some schoolwork done – been slacking off for a few days.

    #101407
    Mete
    Participant

    I also tried debating the refugee crisis on the side and that did obviously not go well and I will readily admit I don’t have the slightest clue what should be done about it. I also expressed my strong opposition toward multiculturalism – now I don’t particularly care. So I’m going back on my words there as well. All of this is way bigger than me and I bit off more than I could chew.

    #101416
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    I have – mostly had- strong feelings about evens and happenings in the world that are out of my control, events and happenings that I can do nothing about. The anger and rage in me were useless except in harming me. It is not that my thoughts and feelings were wrong for me to have, it was that they served no purpose, making no difference whatsoever in the world, rendering me frustrated with being powerless, angry and powerless.

    This combination of being angry and powerless is a… deadly combination for mental health.

    Regarding the game, when you play it casting spells, for example, you know you are dealing with fantasy. Unfortunately in the real world there are people who believe in spells and other fantasies, or are desperate enough to believe in those things at one time or another. Regarding turning invisible, another fantasy item giving you power to do whatever you want without consequences: fantasy and power. Lots of power in those games, something we do need in real life, having reasonable/ realistic power over our lives.

    anita

    #101420
    Mete
    Participant

    Yup. I’ve decided that I will try and make an appointment with the psychologist services provided by student health care. The queue times can be long and I’m certainly past the worst of this, but talking with a professional can’t hurt.

    Thanks for all the support.

    #101422
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    Do what you need to do to take good care of yourself. Focus on what you can exert power over. Use any and every opportunity (none is too small or insignificant) to make a difference in your life. Make choices with the awareness: how do I make my life better right now? Today? No step is too small to take.

    anita

    #101444
    Mete
    Participant

    About separating good beliefs from bad ones. When I made that first post, I remember saying something along the lines of “this country is entirely self built and I am going to do what it takes to protect it from threats, be they from the inside or outside.” That is a very powerful statement and something I’d like to say I still stand behind. I’m from Finland and I don’t know if you’re familiar with our history but there’s quite a bit of stuff there to be proud of. I wouldn’t necessarily desribe myself as being much more nationalistic than my average countryman and nationalism is certainly something that can be abused to divide people, but I had come to agree with some nationalist European parties. I also expressed my concern for preserving our culture, although that was closer to something I came up with on the spot, rather than a deep-rooted belief. The guy I first tried debating this stuff with was a communist so we were on a completely different page from the start and he instantly resorted to personal insults. It annoys me I still remember those. I did say later that I am all for positive cultural exhange, despite opposing multiculturalism, which I had come to view as being divisive and all around unnatural. For example, our food culture is quite bland and has most certainly benefited from globalization, but I couldn’t agree with others proposing areas disproportionaly inhabited by a single ethnicity as a positive. To me, that just sounds like segregation,no matter how many pretty words you cover it with. I also expressed strong pro-Europe views with my second post, which I’d like to say I still stand behind. However, I was definitely operating under a mindset back then where I had come to view many things as a threat, and you could argue that is not a healthy mindset to have. I suppose I enjoyed it to a degree, before it resulted in massive amounts of headache. I suppose I had also come to support assimilation over integration which doesn’t sit well with some people who view it as a method of suppressing minorities and denying them the right to keep their own culture. I find this really depends on the country – I very much support a ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do’ approach. Meanwhile, other countries are built on immigration and thus the merging of many different cultures. There’s really no ‘one size fits all’ solution here. Add to that the fact that people can’t even agree over what multiculturalism actually means and debating this stuff on an international forum is bound to be difficult.
    Really, there was a lot of stuff there I still agree with – but I’d just like to be able to think of anything else after all this time.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Mete.
    #101446
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear mete:

    It used to be nice to tour Europe when different countries had their own distinct personalities: when in England you encountered the English and the English personality; when in France you encountered the French and their personality. Now that you encounter everything everywhere, my desire to travel is none existent. If I want to see the X personality all I have to do is to travel to a nearby neighborhood. I don’t have to travel to a far away country.

    There is something about the world that was in that different places had their distinct personality that is no longer the case, at least not in Europe, the U.S., Canada… And in Asia, Africa, with TV and internet, national/ local personalities are lost.

    To me, it is a great loss.

    I would support a regulated, limited immigration, enforceable policies so to not lose a national personality. And regarding crises situations, where great number of people need refuge, I would look to offer them refuge, protection without immigration.

    As long as there are borders between countries, and laws protecting those borders, those borders and laws should be respected. Helping individuals under national distress, civil wars and such, these should be attended to, but not in the ways so far practiced, which is massive, unregulated immigration.

    This is my preferences and opinions on the matter, mete. Will I get grief for it by someone reading this? Maybe.

    In any case, be it.

    anita

    #101508
    Mete
    Participant

    I think your stance is very reasonable and I’m sure many ordinary people would agree.

    I’m an international student too, which makes this whole episode all the more absurd. I just spent all fall afraid of basically everyone who wasn’t white, feeling like I needed to apologize for existing, going, ‘why have I been reduced to this?’. These are the people I’ve been working with for years now, how did it come to this? I haven’t had too many classes where I worked with other people either, which probably would’ve helped with reconnecting with people.

    There is another thing. Are you familiar with the concept of ‘white privilege’? If you’re not, you’ll probably be able to deduct what it means. It essentially refers to how in some countries, white people could be perceived as having an advantage over others by virtue of being white. It is most commonly used in the context of black-white relations in the US. Whites aren’t the only ones – Asians are usually the second in line. I don’t think there are too many people who would outright claim that there is no condition in the US where a white person might be advantaged over a black person, but this is a whole another can of worms that is quite honestly out of my comfort zone. The term is most commonly employed by left-wing/progressive people engaged in identity politics – I don’t think you’re very likely to find a Republican talking about it. Regardless, with my first post, I outright denied having any such privilege, and still do – anyone looking to extend it to applying it to Finns would have to display such grave lack of historical knowledge it is not even funny. When some whites were practicing slavery, we were poor peasants under Swedish or Russian rule. Many ethnic groups in Europe could be described as having been under similar conditions, but that doesn’t stop some people from trying to extend the concept of white privilege to apply to all white people everywhere, and sure enough, that communist fellow did insist it applies to me as well. He was particularly rude and condescending about it, too. Why this matters is that I still find myself obsessing over it after all this time, his insults etched into my brain. It did not bother me too greatly immediately after, but that second post caused it to eventually pop right into my consciousness, mocking me for days on end. I can only wonder what part of the brain caused that to happen, but I do not like it one bit. I have done my best to forgive him, but all of this is still a very sore spot.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 46 total)

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