Hello,

I’ve been seeing a guy for 5 months, who refers to me as his girlfriend and I guess he is my boyfriend. I am 21, I have never had a boyfriend mostly casual hook ups and one guy that I fell in love with but only wanted to hook up, etc. It took me a long time to get over previous guy because he fit all of my superficial requirements and I really could imagine a life with him. Most guys I just don’t feel that tunnel vision attraction I had for my “ex”.

Anyway, I started dating this new guy. Initially I didn’t find him to be my type physically. I also thought he was too young and maybe that this is just a fling and once he gets older he will be different. He is 21, but I feel like an old soul. He feels like a young soul. We are also really different, though we share some views. I am really chill, he seems always nervous and extroverted. It also has felt hard to connect with him- idk if it’s my own wavering sadness or him.

I wanted a relationship to have a life partner, I don’t have really friends or family so maybe its wrong I want to feel like he’s building his life with me. It hasn’t felt that way. Before, I would have guys who would want to hangout really often, if they travel they actively get me to go with them, and when we’re hanging it, it feels more like they are trying to build a life with me. With him, it’s more of “I’m doing my thing, you can tag along if you want. You’re on your own, but i’m kind of here if you need me. Really like you though!” kind of thing which prevents me from developing more feelings for him. I wanted an active life partner to help with my journey and vice versa.

Now for the bisexual . I think he is bisexual because 1.) He always talks about how gay guys love him. He makes jokes like he doesn’t like it but he seems happy to get the attention. 2.) He likes photos of other male couples. Well, I only saw one. 3.) I feel a vibe, like if he feels attraction when he makes eye contact with other gay (or bisexual) men in public. He smiles and gets a little excited. 4.) I brought up a threesome. Suggested one of his male friends to which he responded “Ty’s not gay”, which made me think he is, because why else would he be doing it. 5.) People always think he’s gay. 6.) He told me his bestfriend is bisexual and was “weird” with him in the beginning, didn’t elaborate. 7.) Asked about sex back there- which alone I would suspect, but given the details. 8.) MAIN CONCERN- He asked me to put on his boxers. He really liked it and had me try on more clothes. Then said “we should do a photoshoot and trade clothes..ill put on a skirt and heels.” He seemed serious. I was nervous so I pretended he didn’t say it. If he likes to cross dress I also want to end it. So..What to do..

I don’t know if it’s intuition or paranoia. I also had a pre-notion that he may not be conscious that he doens’t know what he wants because he seems to have such a young mind.

I asked if he was into guys but it was after I was upset so could have lied about his response. Seemed like he was walking lightly in the convo to see my reaction.. “If you want threesome with another guy ill do it….*watching me intently* but I won’t do anything to him-thats weird.” I don’t believe him. He wasnt like “A GUY?? NOOO” He seemed like he would have said yes. And if he is into guys I DEFINITELY want to end it. Not judgmental but not what I want in partner at all, and I will not try to accept it.

I was super depressed/still am sad when I met him and feel I cling to him because I kind of like him and he’s someone to cling to.

I also feel like I have a hard time feeling a fiery attraction to anyone in general, besides my “ex”..or maybe I havent met anyone.

Thoughts? Should I bring up the convo again? and the cross dressing comment. Can’t stop thinking that he likes it..and it makes me want to end it because I feel even when he says no, I don’t believe it at all. Just a deep feeling I have

• This topic was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Bun.