July 15, 2013 at 6:49 am #38634
Two people meet, they ’connect’ and girl says i want to be alone for now after their night…then the guy tells her that they can not have a relationship because of distance, he is not in love with her but then asks her after a few days he is gone, that he misses her and for him it was not only the ’connection’ and he is asking the girl to go and visit him and then go to his parents’ house .. He also does not like any other guy being around her and then he gives himself the title of being her boyfriend too.. what does that mean? does he really like her and wants to be her boyfriend or he does not?July 15, 2013 at 7:03 am #38638PaulaParticipant
Wow this one sounds familiar to a guy i knew once. Well after the first night of being with her he realized he did love her or want her. I mean for him to claim her but not to inquire to her to let her know is kinda…hmm…..sounds like he wants to take charge of her or own. But it gets kinda complicated…..he might want something else that the girl doesn’t want.. To be in love is to communicate that to the partner but here its more like i want this and i can have it. Insecurity could play a role too. That’s my opinion.July 15, 2013 at 7:21 am #38639
thanks Paula, he may actually really like her but because she said from the beginning she does not want to be with anyone else right now, that may have put him off and also said all the ‘nasty’ stuff about him not being in love with her and not wanting any relationship with her. How do you think the girl should approach the topic in order to really know what is going on? Maybe she actually does like him a lot too and she would not mind trying a relationship with him, however the things he may have said may have put her off now too for any kind of further commitment!July 15, 2013 at 8:04 am #38647MattParticipant
Is this for a friend or is it for Lex? If the girl has interest, and he has interest, then its worth pursuing. Wanting to “know what it all means” can inhibit the natural flow of intimacy… perhaps taking it one step at a time is the best course.
MattJuly 16, 2013 at 4:50 am #38747PaulaParticipant
Well i say just be straight forward and tell how each other feels about the other person. No one is going to know anything if one dose not speak the feelings or thoughts.July 16, 2013 at 3:45 pm #38770
Thanks for taking time to reply .. This is for Lex. Well sometimes if distance exists between two people, the taking it one step at a time may not be as easy as it should be!
LexJuly 16, 2013 at 5:49 pm #38781MattParticipant
Perhaps confronting the distance is the first step. Then maybe ask yourself “why does the distance bother me?” When we are afraid, sometimes we throw up walls to protect our tender heart. The heart knows what it wants, and walls aren’t going to stop it. There is the real potential of being hurt and that can be scary, but when we summon our courage and explore anyway… we can walk without regret, because we listened to our heart and tried our best.