Is this Forum "Real Life"?

[Anonymous]

I am guessing by “real life” most people mean: are people (in this forum) real, that is truthful, honest, sincere?

For me, this forum is real life because I am truthful here. I make this forum real for me and I am real in it. Anything and everything I ever typed in this forum is true: all the details I gave about my life, where I live, what I had for dinner… all my feeling I expressed here have been my true feelings , all my thoughts- my true thoughts. Even my username is my real name.

My answer would be then: this forum is as real for you as you are real in it.

What do you think?

anita

[Saiisha]

This is an interesting question Anita – and I like your last line – “this forum is as real for you as you are real in it.”

I believe I’m honest, sincere and truthful on here as well, but I also only put out a facet of myself, which is relevant to this community. I don’t talk about other things, like cooking, gardening or most other stuff in life – so I guess I’m real, but still only a portion of who I am here. But maybe that’s understood in your question 🙂

[Anonymous]

Dear Saiisha:

Thank you for being the first to answer my thread (again). If this thread was about finances I wouldn’t be able to stand five minutes here. If it was about gardening, I’d have nothing to say. Glad the topics here posted by others do stimulate my interest, my thinking and I find myself having something to say.
anita

[Saiisha]

Very true – and you do offer a TON of yourself to this community, and as you see they/we do appreciate it 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thank you, Saiisha. I greatly appreciate your support.
anita

[jock]

No this forum is not real life like facebook.But I can’t act silly on there. Prospective employers? And how can I talk honestly about family matters with them all there as well?
But this is the real cyber me. I don’t hide my real opinion, which I might have to on facebook, due to political correctness. I am more free to be me here, which of course has turned out to annoy certain members. But no I’m not going to apologise for that. Maybe it shows that we have to wear a certain mask everywhere even online. We can’t be completely ourselves anywhere. Mmm, starting to bore myself, Better stop.

[Anonymous]

Dear Jack:

This is why it has worked for me: here if I annoy certain members I don’t have to worry about them punishing me in life outside the forum, such as turning the music loud all night, or fire me from a job, or stop paying my bills, or… it is relatively safe. So MORE real here, is what I say.

The thing about annoying others: something about me annoyed others from the moment of my conception and something about me is annoying someone who is reading these very words right now (if enough people are reading this), and something about me will annoy somebody on the last day of my life. Actually, something about me will annoy someone after I die (my body may not burn during cremation just right, a hospital clerk may be annoyed with the billing of my last stay there, someone will not be happy I didn’t leave them my pearl necklace, etc.)

So you see,someone will ALWAYS be annoyed with me.

So, what is the solution?

Be diplomatic, political- that will work some, and it totally appropriate when diffusing violence such as between nations and in a mediation session between feuding spouses, but even the best diplomats, the best tactful skills do not protect anyone from the inevitable: someone will get annoyed.

What it comes down to is what is my purpose here? To be accepted by everyone, to be praised and admired? no, this is not my purpose. I am not aiming at being accepted by a single person here other than to be accepted by myself. Being accepted by anyone else is a by product.

This IS the world we live in:somebody will always be unhappy I am here. Do I hide? Or do I honor myself (with the Win-Win attitude) and stay?

anita

[jock]

I am not aiming at being accepted by a single person here other than to be accepted by myself.

I still have an inner self that wants to please everyone on here .
This is where your courage and self-esteem are higher than mine. And that is admirable.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by jock.

[Anonymous]

Dear Jack:

There is strength and courage in you not leaving the thread, Jack, in posting again and again. Real strength is not in the delusion of strength. Real strength is in showing your weakness because it is real and coming back. In coming back you are stating something like: I am strong enough to be weak, or I am strong enough to BE HERE. And the courage, a trait you have shown, a trait so rare in the people in my life, you already established your courage. YOU are admirable then, you see. You are admirable.

anita

[Author]

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