Hey Dee,

You just need to focus on you and your own growth, what will be will be. I have commitment-phobia, and I sabotage relationships … Male 34 and i’ve had 4 relationships, with only 1 being serious i.e greater than one year. I’m in a situation that is similar, I was in a relationship for just under a year to a very loving girlfriend, but during that year, I lost a family member who was like a mum to me to cancer. I thought talking to other strangers online would make me feel better, and I thought pushing the GF away and creating drama by talking to others was what I really wanted. I was unhappy.  I blamed the relationship, but it was nothing to do with it … it was all me. Since I broke up with my ex in February this year, i’ve missed her terribly … but all I can do is try and make sure that I don’t make the same mistakes. I’ve been going to therapy for grief, and also reading tonnes of books to try become more aware of my own thoughts and emotional triggers. This book is a fantastic read:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Commitment-Overcoming-Obstacles-Connection/dp/0871319055/ref=pd_sim_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=FYC4HQV76EW4STJ14V34

You need to focus on you, get out of your comfort zone and believe youre the biggest bada$$ on the planet. I pretend i’m a model for ralph lauren and a multi millionaire, fake it till you make it.